...As the waves crash

Monday, November 21, 2005

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Unpublished Lit
Currently feeling: Adventurous
Listening to: Stick Around by Azure

I borrowed this Economics book from my sister's batchmate and it appears like the book had been lent and/or passed on for at least five times already. Unsurprisingly, there are scribbles, different names [of the different 'owners'] and some papers in between the pages. I found this essay which is apparently an assignment or seatwork maybe. Graded 95%, handwritten on a sheet of yellow paper, and penmanship's undeniably a guy's. Read on. Sorry for typos. For the author of this essay, thank me then for I've published your work. I like it, really. =P

Ang Aking Pananaw sa Aking Ginagalawang Buhay
by Bryle Jay-R L. Cruz

Napakasarap isiping ako'y nabubuhay sa ibabaw ng ating ginagalawang mundo. Pero, karapat-dapat ba akong maging masaya sa aking nararanasan ngayon? Ano nga ba ang tunay na halaga ng buhay? Ito ba'y isang matamis na gunitain o kaya'y isang madilim na kahapon na dapat ibaon sa limot?

Sa bawat pagsikat ng araw sa ating bansa ay hindi mawawala ang samut-saring kaguluhan o krimen na nagaganap sa ating bansa. Siguro nga ay parte na ito ng bawat Pilipino na nakaririnig o nakababasa ng mga balitang katulad ng nakawan, patayan o kaya'y kaguluhan sa ating pulitika. Sabi nga ng ibang tao ay tinuturing na lang nila itong almusal sa umaga. E ano ba naman ang magagawa natin sa mga ito? Hindi naman tayo pwedeng gumawa o maghanap ng gaya ni Superman o kaya'y Batman para mapigilan ang mga ito. Talaga ngang maituturing natin ang ating bansa na bukod tangi sa mga bansa sa mundo.

Siguro nga at ako'y isang simpleng estudyante na nagsisikap at umaasang minsa'y malalampasan ang mga pagsubok na aking hinaharap at haharapin sa aking buhay. Maihahalintulad ko rin ang aking sarili sa isang halaman sa paso na hindi mabubuhay kung walang magdidilig at magaalaga sa akin. Pinili kong umpisahan ito sa mga problemang kinakaharap ng ating bansa dahil nais kong ibahagi ang aking pananaw sa aking buhay na puno ng pagsubok upang ako'y mahubog bilang isang tunay na tao. Sa pamamagitan ng mga ito, napatunayan ko sa aking sarili ang kahalagahan ng pamilya, kaibigan at determinasyon upang malampasan ang mga ito. Napakagaling talaga ng ating Diyos at naisip niyang gumawa at ipadama sa atin ang kahalagahan ng ating buhay. Aaminin ko na minsa'y naging mahina rin ako at sumuko pero ang nagpalakas sa aking loob ay ang mga taong nasa lansangan na kailangan pang mamalimos para lamang may pantawid sa kanilang gutom. Sabi ko sa aking sarili, kung sila nakaya nila, bakit ako hindi?

Nais kong tapusin ang sanaysay na ito sa pagsasabing, "Ang buhay ay puno ng kulay, nasa sa iyo na ito kung paano mo ito makikita." Siguro nga na ang buhay ng isang tao ay binigay upang ito'y tuklasin kung ano nga ba ang maibabahagi mo sa ibang tao na nangangailangan nito. Pero ako, masasabi ko na nasa oras pa lang ako na patuloy kong inaalam ang ibig sabihin ng aking buhay. Ikaw, alam mo na ba?

3:47 PM |

Friday, November 18, 2005

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Mixed Emotions
Currently feeling: Weird
Listening to: Silent Night by Boyz II Men

Nyeta ba't ganun. Ang sad. Pero masaya na din naman. I'm disgusted. Appreciative. Critique. Nakakapanghinayang pero di naman pwedeng nagsasayang ng oras. Nakakatanga na nakakabaliw. Anu ba naman to. Nakakasawa pa. Pero okay pa rin. Shef! Weird.

11:13 PM |

Sunday, November 13, 2005

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Unfortunate?
Currently feeling: Hyped
Listening to: Burn by Tina Arena

Yesterday, we went to PICC for our second training as LOs for the SEA Games. We rode the UST bus which got me excited since I haven't been able to ride it ever. Sobrang hirap hiramin ng mga lecheng bus na nakapark lang madalas! Anyway for those people who don't know, two sections were chosen from our school to participate as Liason Officers for the said event. I think the PhilSOC got 60 students from each of the different schools. Anyway, during the morning session, there were students from FEATI University, UP Diliman, University of Makati, Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Pasig, and I-forgot-what-other-schools. Congratulations to my university, we've got the most exciting sport to LO upon: Table tennis! *darn* And it's Bayview Park Hotel. *darn darn darn*

Gad, I think I'm kinda stressed out. I need a getaway! Boracay, anyone? Libre niyo ko huh! ;P Speaking of Bora, I was browsing through a friend's Friendster account, when I saw their pics (of my friend and the honey) at Bora. And Puerto Galera. And Subic. Goshhhh... I don't know if I'm envy because they went to such beautiful places or because they're together (coz I don't have anybody to be together with).

1:59 PM |

Friday, November 11, 2005

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Of Needs and Wants
Currently feeling: Sickly
Listening to: 7Days in Sunny June by Jamiroquai

I was so amused with Ma'am Bermudez during our ETAR (Economics with Taxation and Agrarian Reform, if I'm not mistaken) course today. She was discussing the introduction to college economics with wit and fun. Her lecture went like this:

So, 'demand' refers to what we need and want. By the way, how do you differentiate a 'need' from a 'want'? According to Kotler need's dictionary meaning is depravity of (from?) something. Meaning, you don't have that thing. He incorporated this definition to his explanation of a need from a want.

Need, as he therefore explained, is when you don't have the thing. Want, on the other hand, is still a need itself--but, with a personal touch. Let's say you're hungry, you say, "I'm hungry. I need food. I want fried chicken."

For someone who is--or was--not an Economics student, the phrase 'I need you' may be the sweetest thing she'd want to hear. And 'I want you' is offensive. But you, you'd never see it like the way it seemed before. I mean--technically speaking Economics--I need you is more like the person needs somebody because there is absolutely nobody. While, I want you means you are the person's choice.

If you're gonna say it, say it something like this: "I need a friend. I want that friend to be you." *applause* Well if you still want to make it more elaborate, here: I need a friend. I want that friend to be you. I want you to be my friend so much that I need you.

This is absolutely amazing. Got us all clapping and smiling. :)

5:33 PM |

Thursday, November 10, 2005

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Geek in the Pink
Currently feeling: Sleepy
Listening to: Computer beeps

Have lots to do, but doing nothing.

I'm in the lib, have just finished browsing through Marketing books for my Tourism Planning and Marketing course tomorrow. Still haven't got a copy of the lessons for Humanities course, I'm just surfing the net before I go home. Wala lang. Well I'm doing something sort of educational naman. I'm reading about my hometown--Navotas--so that I'd be ready in case I had to promote it impromptu. Haay, tourism.

Lyka perked up my spirit by showing me a gay site (read: pink flags waving!) that's apparently being visited by the previous users of the computer station we're using. Fabuloush. I's (my own version of I was) never aware that this actually exists. Anyway, I'll surf through for fun.

12:41 PM |

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

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Me, Him and Her
Currently feeling: Tired
Singing along: I'm Feeling You by Michelle Branch

Introduction. Gosh I'm so tired, my body's having a hard time adjusting to my wake up time plus the wearisome travel to and from school. Listening to the professors discuss their required activities, projects, special projects and all other requirements makes me feel more ngarag than ever. This just might be the most tedious twenty one units of my college life. The final semester.

Anyway, back to the topic [of my title]. Since I wanna sleep na, I'll make this brief. See, I think I always end up liking somebody who happens to like someone else. It's because I tend to see how much he likes [or loves] her which in turn makes me envy--sort of--her because she's lucky that she's got someone who likes her as much as he does. Comments requested. Yun lang po. *bow* Blogger almost falling asleep while typing.

9:22 PM |

Friday, November 04, 2005

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Nightmare on F Street
Currently feeling: Sad
Listening to: Hari ng Sablay by Sugarfree

Past three in the morning today, I have been asleep for only about two hours when I felt my sister tug my foot and say, "Ate! Ate!" Still half asleep, I got to my senses and heard a loud wailing sound. I thought, in a split second, that maybe my sis got scared from whatever was the source of the sound. I opened my eyes and saw my sister pointing outside our bedroom window. My bed being adjacent to the window, I sat up and turned a hundred and eighty degrees.

I initially saw an orange sky and clouds. After another split second, I realized there were huge flames. "Ah, shit!," was the first thing I said. The fire was more like a block and half away from our house, but the view from our window makes it seem like it's just three houses away. I have never, in my life, seen and watched fire this big and this close.

I sat frozen, hugging a big pillow, staring at the fire. You can tell I was so scared. I think I did not blink for minutes. More firetrucks kept passing by our house as I sat there feeling so helpless. My dad ran off already to help out. I heard people yelling outside to warn pedestrians of the rushing trucks. I saw our neighbors get out on their balconies to see how far away the fire was. Or rather, how near. But still, my eyes focused on the billowing clouds of smoke and the terrifying huge flames. Smoke seemed to me like the Hiroshima-Nagasaki atomic bomb mushroom cloud, only this time they were more like button mushrooms than umbrella ones. And they're many. I was observing wind direction; I was observing everything.

In my mind, a lot things are running through. I silently prayed for the fire not to spread towards our house; I prayed for the victims, firemen and fire volunteers. I actually thought about what I'm gonna take with me in case we needed to evacuate if our house is on fire: our birth certificates, passports, diplomas, other important documents and identification, jewelry which can be as good as cash, cash of course, and maybe a few photos lying around. I thought about whether I knew anybody near the site, luckily I knew nobody.

Thirty minutes into staring, my eyes started to hurt, the fire was out. I felt like crying because of the fear and helplessness plus the adrenalin rush. And for the concern that I felt through the SMS messages that my friends sent me, asking about our home and the family. I feel so bad for the victims, especially that it's just a matter of fifty days or so before Christmas. Anyway, I did not cry. Because it would make my sister cry. (She's psychologically disturbed lately.)

Please pray for the victims of the fire. And as thanksgiving to the fire volunteers, my heroes. Bye for now, I have to go through my clothes to donate some for the less fortunate ones today.

11:37 AM |

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

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Adeng No More
Currently feeling: Relaxed
Listening to: Fill Me In by Craig David

Home sweet home! I'm so happy to be back, saw my friends yesterday at the cemetery... Kahit na di ako nakapunta nung Halloween party which they've organized, I'm excited to see everybody else but I can't wait to see the love of my life: Zoe! Wasn't able to say goodbye before I left so I ought to see Zoe asap.

To our Baguio friends: I hope we'd still keep in touch through Friendster or YM at least. We'll let you know if we're in town again. Can never forget your kindness, I hope you'd never forget what we may have shared to you (like what LSS meant). I realized I was starting to understand the local dialect before we were off for Manila, though I knew how to count one to three. Anyway, t'was nice knowing you guys, definitely see you again someday. To Rach and Taritz, I'll drop by your house sometime again; drop by ours if you're in town. To Andrei and Kabs, sorry I wasn't able to meet up with you during my stay. Next time.

So some Baguio anecdotes for you. Alam niyo bang [in Baguio] when people hear that you're from Manila, you're synonymous to the expression "Yeah/Yah". Sabi nila super word daw kase yan ng mga taga-baba. Yah right! Hehe.. And LSS [Last Song Syndrome] hasn't reached civilization there. Anyway when my sis was watching Pinoy Big Brother eviction night a week ago, wherein this girl named Chx was evicted, she said, "Ganto pala sa outside world," when asked by host Toni Gonzaga what it's like to be 'out'. To which my sister exclaimed, "Ate, pag-uwi siguro naten sabihin ko din, 'Wow, ganto pala sa outside world!,'" Kulet diba.

I came to understand her boredom because I experienced a bit what hell was for her. Out of boredom, we've done so much nonsense. I think I've written the lyrics of almost all the songs on my mp3 player! We've almost finished a book of loop-a-word puzzles, and my sis has created her own loop-a-word puzzles too. Some of her puzzles even containing all the states of America! I've even created 'letterings' for numerous names, kulang na lang makagawa ako ng sarili kong font style (I'm working on it).

The best I've done so far was an ambigram for my name. Finally! Being someone who states 'lettering' as a hobby, I got so inspired to make one after a jaw-dropping amazement at the ambigrams on Dan Brown's novel, Angels and Demons. It's still on paper so I can't show it yet, I'd have to scan it or do it on Adobe Photoshop pa. Whatever.

After a week of being offline, the Friendster messages got stacked up. A particularly interesting one is an inquiry on why I don't include a photo of myself on my left side column of this blog page. I never really thought it'd matter. But for those who're wondering as well, here's my side. Well, I don have a photo of me--up there--but it's a silhouette of me, Lara Croft style at the shooting location of Tomb Raider [I forgot which one]: Ankor Wat, Cambodia. So why not a non-silhouette pic? Umm because I created this blog for my thought so I think it should be the main attraction (not that my face would grab the spotlight or anything). Plus, I wouldn't want anybody pondering why I'm born with such unpleasant face when all I wanted to display were my thoughts. And in a world of no anonymity, there's always a way to find out how I actually looked like if you're that curious and eager. Oh, sounds familiar... :)

Back to Baguio stories... (ang gulo ba?) There's this one night that out of boredom I had two cups of strong blend coffee. As you may have guessed, I wasn't able to sleep a wink. The morning after, I looked like a zombie and I borrowed my sis' phone and took pics of myself, horrible enough to be a model. A model for halloween! :) There's an Amy Lee of Evanescence-like photo (yung sa album nila, I forgot the album name), then a Christina Ricci deadringer for Sleepy Hollow. Spooky!

My dreamland experiences in Baguio are quite spooky enough. My dreams have been telling me some things lately. Or were they really? Judge. First, I dreamt of Camille, my friend's cousin. Nothing unusual about the dream, I just came across her while I was walking down a dark street, I recognized her because she was laughing hard and when she recognized me, she blushed and smiled shyly [she was with a guy]. When I woke up, I sent my friend an SMS message and told her of what I dreamt about. She replied by saying Camille had just underwent surgery of the appendix. Okay. Next. On the night of the 24th, I dreamt about my friend's elder sister Diana. The 24th is the actual schedule of Diana's interview at the British Embassy (for migration). In my dream, her interview yielded negative results because she forgot to pay for some other fees. When I woke I sent an SMS message again to my friend. Sure enough, interview results were negative because she lacked--not payments--IDs! By this time I'm amazed, and somehow thought they may just be coincidences. Then, the night before my parents were supposed to arrive at Baguio to fetch us, I dreamt that when I woke up, my mom's there already. Which is contrary to their 2pm arrival schedule. When I actually woke up, I told my sister that maybe our parents are coming in earlier than expected. By 10am, my mom sent an SMS saying they're in Baguio na..

Hmmm.. What do you think? Should I be waiting what's gonna happen with another dream, wherein I was reunited with a friend way back elementary days? And with yet another dream where I got together (romantically) with a highschool batchmate who's been so affectionate but was never actually my type? Keeps me wondering. *wink*

1:53 PM |