climb every mountain

Okay, so this is kinda hilarious and a little rude. But I got this article from a back issue of the Philippine Tatler. Well based on experience these kind of people do exist. I've actually met one. Tsktsk.

The Top 10 List: Tips for Social Climbers

1. Read the book on etiquette and social manners by Emily Post. Also, it's important to know where you came from. Although you cringe when you remember the past, be proud of the fact that if you were once a fish vendor or a pole dancer--just look where you are now!

2. It pays to deposit in the right bank, and yes, there is a difference between a commercial and a private bank.

3. Make a list of all the right organizations and clubs that you can join. But listen, there's a difference between wanting to join and actually being invited and accepted

4. Get a make over special courtesy of Emphasis, Patrick Rosas and Dr. Vicki Belo for the best in hair, spa, make-up, slimming, and surgery techniques. Also, get a good fashion designer, one who has a name and a good reputation.

5. Go to a speech therapist to ensure your P's and F's are said correctly.

6. Although we do not recomment it because it opens a can of worms, some ladies who have made it in the past have used--and are still using--publicists. Be forewarned.

7. Learn a second or third language. Ilocano and Ilonggo do not count as foreign language.

8. If you are buying a house make sure it's in the right village. And if you are going to design it, please note that the over-the-top, gold gilded, heavy Victorian or Empire look, and a Lalique or Baccarat strewn house is totally out and screams nouveau riche!

9. Be authentic, which means buying the Vuitton bag from the Louis Vuitton boutique at Greenbelt 4, not Greenhills.

10. After all that, maybe it's good to get a good psychiatrist to help you deal with the rejections.