Saturday, December 06, 2008

Until I Don't Know What It Is Anymore

When you can't cry anymore, when you run out of tears, how do you express your sadness? When frowning just won't make it...

I have practically given up on myself. I used to have everything going on for me, and now that's just not the case. For a month or so already, I have not been talking much to people the way I used to. Everyone would just throw me "why's" or "how's," and I just won't be able to come up with a single answer. It makes me want to dig deeper into the ground and just bury myself, so that people would just stop noticing.

I had basically lost everything. I don't have a dream, I don't have goals. I don't have a plan and summarizing it all up, I don't have a life. What's the sense in living if you don't have a life? The depression is unbearable. But I guess in a sense, I deserve all these.

If tomorrow I don't wake up, I want everyone to know that you can't judge me from hearsay nor from what I say because believe me, that's just half the story. I love, loved, until I don't know what love is anymore.