Saturday, December 06, 2008

Until I Don't Know What It Is Anymore

When you can't cry anymore, when you run out of tears, how do you express your sadness? When frowning just won't make it...

I have practically given up on myself. I used to have everything going on for me, and now that's just not the case. For a month or so already, I have not been talking much to people the way I used to. Everyone would just throw me "why's" or "how's," and I just won't be able to come up with a single answer. It makes me want to dig deeper into the ground and just bury myself, so that people would just stop noticing.

I had basically lost everything. I don't have a dream, I don't have goals. I don't have a plan and summarizing it all up, I don't have a life. What's the sense in living if you don't have a life? The depression is unbearable. But I guess in a sense, I deserve all these.

If tomorrow I don't wake up, I want everyone to know that you can't judge me from hearsay nor from what I say because believe me, that's just half the story. I love, loved, until I don't know what love is anymore.

Monday, November 24, 2008


My condolences to Bianca and her family. A few days ago five men broke into their house, robbed them and stabbed her grandmother to death. In Bianca's own words, "there is no way to justify" all of these.

I wish them strength and peace of mind.

Sunday, November 02, 2008


When finally you get the answers and it still doesn't feel any better, what hope is there that tomorrow will be? Though the last piece of the puzzle is finally in place, I still feel incomplete. I feel inadequate.

All this time I was blaming myself; that maybe I didn't do enough, or all of these are results of my weakness, mistakes and inadequacy. Then finally the bomb drops and you realize that all along, it wasn't even you. It should have made me feel better, knowing it wasn't me... But then it didn't.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Drive

Have you ever felt like nothing--absolutely nothing--is going right with your life? That's exactly how I feel right now. I was in San Francisco the other day and I was literally crying my heart out. I slept so long (a big thanks to my sleeping pills too) to lessen the hours that I have to think things over. I'm numbing myself--the way Al would always do in times he's problematic. The last time I felt like this was February 2005.

Then you start shunning people out of your life and create your own little world where people won't ask, won't care and you won't have to explain a wee bit. I've had my life turn out exactly the way I wanted it to turn out. But right now, the way my life drives is like it's making a sharp turn without even putting the blinkers on. It doesn't really matter anymore whether the lights are green or red; I better let the people know that I'm switching my hazard lights on now, for the steering wheel has lost its grip.

It's me against the world. I'm being the trials before aren't difficult enough. I would usually just go with the flow and let my instincts, fate and God take the wheel and bring me to the path I should be on. But lately none of those that I rely on would show and lead me. It's just me, myself and I, plus the biased opinions and more confusion that is all there is to it.

I am not the person who wouldn't have answers, but as of late, my answer bank is just empty and not a single hint comes up.

The drive right now isn't even choosing on Y-road. It's wandering aimlessly at a desert and not knowing whether or not you're even on a path or you're just driving around in circles.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Yes, I'm eager to quit my job

You know you're not really into what you're doing anymore when you did something negative and you're not even bothered.

I'm writing this post as I await my showup here at the office. I was supposed to fly Bangkok today, but I went to the medical center instead to complain about my back pain that had been around for more than two weeks, and got me crying and cursing a couple of flights back. The drama doesn't end there--it hasn't even started. The doctor checks on me and the nurse hands over the meds and cool patch to me. The next step: schedule team.

I approach Ms. Yoon, the one in-charge of anything that has to do with filing for sick leaves, and recognizes me from my nametag. I propose to her that to avoid getting a miss flight record for today, I would fly my Bangkok flight, but instead of going on a layover and be back on Saturday, I said if it's possible I won't get off the plane and just go with the flight going back to Seoul. Quickturn, in short. That way, today's flight is still okay and they have more than 24hours to find someone to fly the Bangkok-Seoul leg on Saturday. Capital rule: informing the schedule team that you can't fly coz you're sick at least 24 hours before showup time.

Ms. Yoon understands and calls the schedule team. Skd team says, it's still a miss flight record since I can't fly the Bangkok-Seoul scheduled flight on Saturday. I rebut to Ms. Yoon by saying, 'if I fly to Bangkok, get sick in Bangkok and call the schedule team from Bangkok, it wouldn't be considered miss flight since I was able to inform them 24 hours prior to the flight; now how come I'm telling them 48hours ahead and they're telling me it's considered a missed flight?' We get up and go see Mr. Won, our overseas crew manager. He says the same thing: miss flight record.

Ms. Yoon looks at me and awaits for my decision. Will I fly, will I not? It took about three seconds for me to decide, "Then Ms. Yoon, I'll just miss my flight now. It doesn't make any difference that I fly Bangkok then get a miss flight record or miss my flight now and go home." To which Ms. Yoon said, "Yeah, makes sense."

You know how those Mastercard commercials are? The "priceless" tagline? The way that Mr. Won's jaw dropped as if to say, "I don't believe you're actually missing your flight," was PRICELESS. I stood up to follow Ms. Yoon and Mr. Won still can't find the words. Finally when I was almost at the door he said, "Katrina-ssi, miss flight record is serious and I'm sorry to hear that you had to have one. Take care of your health." I smiled and simply said, "Kamsahamnida, Mr. Won."

You know you hate your job when you do things to endanger your career but you don't even feel a tinge of regret. Couldn't care less. =) Can't wait to finish this contract and resign.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Reposting from ate Kaye

My second-cousin ate Kaye reposted this forwarded message on her Multiply account. Reposting.

+ + +


My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?" He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow.... "

My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes.... My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.." This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. "When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face.... Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. .. and as I continue on reading... Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone... That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be themost dull and boring form.. flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our life... Love, not words win arguments...

Sunday, September 28, 2008

My Blueberry Nights

I saw this movie (starring Norah Jones) while on my flight as an add crew from New York to Seoul. It was a bit dragging at first, but there are just a few lines I wanna share.
"How do you say goodbye to someone you can't imagine your life without? You don't. You just walk away."

"I just wanted him to let go of me. But now that he has, it hurts me more than anything in the whole world."

That's not the point!

On a London flight sometime mid-September, it was another hellish flight for me. As usual, it's not the passenger (well maybe partly) to blame, but I'd rather blame it on the crew members I was working with that day.

On long-haul flights like these, we usually serve two meals, the first one having a choice between Korean food (bibimbap or sometimes it's ssambap) and Western food (usually beef steak). As I approached the last row of my zone, I ran out of the steaks. Panic mode. People don't usually like having no choice especially if they're not that adventurous on food. Serving the last two Australian passengers, I was stuck with one steak and a bibimbap tray. Unfortunately, they both wanted steak. I gave the steak to the lady and asked if the man wanted to try the Korean food. No, of course. I go back to the galley and recheck that we have absolutely nothing else. Turns out, we do have the steak, but the side dishes that come with it, we don't. I'm asked by my senior to offer the steak on a tray of Korean side dishes.

They look really upset, and I'm surprised, as Western people are usually more understanding than demanding Koreans. And it's not like I did not apologize for the choice shortage in American English. Turns out, they've been irate for days already. Their original flight was cancelled so they had to take the flight that was three days later; that day was the man's 60th birthday and they had to cancel his 60th birthday party in Sydney all because their original schedule was cancelled. Also, they were told they'd be upgrade to business class as compensation. Obviously, I'm serving them so they're in economy. Then of course they got the last seat and now not a decent meal he can eat. I sigh, told him I'll see what I can do and head back to the galley.

I looked for the economy class senior and told her my dilemma. This couple is really upset and I know that a complain would soon follow. I am not afraid of complaints, it's just that I understand where these people are coming from and they're helpless. My senior reiterates offering the steak on a Korean tray. Absurd. I asked her if she could at least get a tray from the business class or some fruits or bread. Anything. She shrugs, gets the interphone, talks, hangs up and tells me all the business class trays/china/cutleries are used already. Unbelievable. Business class would always have 120% of what they need.

I head back to the passenger, so sure he won't take what I kept on offering him. Sure enough, I get shouted at, his eyes rolling like a slot machine and how I knew my face was already beet red and wished I could open the door at 36,000 feet and jump out of the plane. I go back to the galley, with every other person's eyes on me of course. There's not a word to explain how I was feeling.

At the galley, my senior asks me what happened. I'm so furious I can't even say a word, I was just taking really deep breaths. I wanted to tell her, I wouldn't be shouted at and humiliated in front of a hundred people if she'd just listen and understand why this is just not about the food. She even tells me that the passenger can't expect special treatment just because today was his birthday. I told her, "That's not even the point!" I was like an angry customer and I was looking for our cabin manager. Like magic, he appears from behind the business class curtains. One more time, I relay my story, his story and orders--yes order--my manager to get something from business class. Anything. I told him, "I am very sure you will get a complain today if you don't." That seemed to do the trick, they're so afraid of complaints, especially from non-Koreans as they won't be able to follow what an irate English-speaking passenger would be saying.

Poof, in a couple of minutes, the manager was holding a business class tray complete with wine glasses. I shot my senior a what-the-fuck-did-you-do-earlier look and walked out of the galley and to the passenger. I apologized one last time that there are no more of the side dishes that he wanted and instead I got him something from business class. He was appreciative and sighed as I wished him a happy birthday despite everything.

When I got back to the galley, I needed a minute to stay composed as I was so mad at my senior for lying to me that there's nothing she can do when I know too well that that's impossible. She had the nerve to ask me, "Is he okay?" To which I nodded once and proceeded to do what's next. I was serving coffee and I saw her approaching the passenger telling him, "I hope you're okay, if there's anything I can do, please let me know." I looked at her with my eyes saying, "After doing nothing, you'd tell the passenger that?" Kapal ng mukha.

Monday, September 15, 2008

For Lola's 80th

Naunahan ako ni Dete Jan magpost ng gantong entry! Wahaha. We have a surprise for lola, initiated by Tita Doris who will make a video presentation on how each grandchild perceives Lola to be. Here's my share:
Lola is THE SUPREME COURT. Nothing is final until Lola says so. She will make most decisions when it comes to almost everything. She knows what's right, what's best, all the time. She has taught me to stand by my own decisions in life, even if it means defending it to her like a lawyer defends his case. She will point out the cons of a certain matter, showing just how much she is concerned about your welfare. That being said, no approval is more sought after than Lola's nod; it's as rewarding as being acquitted of charges in a trial and winning your case.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Michael V

Kudos to my favorite local comedian! Michael V just made it to the cover of Reader's Digest Asia for this month of September 2008. The article on him (made available here thru RD Asia online) is just as interesting as he is. He is one person I never get tired of watching. For me he's like the Adam Sandler of Philippine television. Anyhow, I just wanted to say I'm proud of him and he deserves the attention of a good publication like Reader's Digest. :)

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

After a quarter

It's like I've been away from some of my [highschool] friends for three months coz I wasn't able to squeeze em in my schedule when I used my days off to go to SF. I soo missed them. Drunks talk at around 3-ish in the morning. Haha. You know your friends are drunk when they start talking about the "why's" of each of her own love life. Round two pa! :)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Classes that make you dumber

My batchmates and I are nearing the end of our second year here at Asiana so we were required to undergo our recurrent training for us to be able to renew our work contract. For two days, we were given lectures, tests and drills. It reminded me again how much [bad] English you could get in Korea. Out of boredom, I wrote some lines that our instructors had said :)

- When you open the [lavatory] door fastly, the fire will get bigger than bigger.

- Touch the door from the upside to the downside.

-The air in the cabin is circulated to the outside by ventilate system.

- At 10,000 feet, all passengers can alive so it's possible to open the door.

- During ditching, the aircraft will slowly down to the water.

- We can experiencing that in the current state.

- But this requires a money.

- Now we back to the first slide. You don't need every things.

- You need to memory the category of aviations.

- When you report, who is investigate this events?

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Saving the Earth One Switch at a Time

My hoodie says: Go Green

My confession: I'm an eco-freak. I love the nature and I notice how much green there is in a city. When my dad asked me what Singapore is like, I said, "It's clean and green." Then for a second I thought that was a really funny thing to say. Clean and green. But it's true.

And I try to "save the Earth," seriously. I don't plant trees or anything like that, but my motto is what my post title is: Saving the Earth, one switch at a time. Small things I do on my own. And hopefully if people start doing their little things then it's gonna be big. :) Here are the things I confess that I do (call me freak it's okay):

- I switch off the lights in my hotel room if I'm watching TV or just surfing the net. I don't really need the lights, do I?
- Still fails, but I TRY to use just one towel per stay. I try. Not always successful on this one.
- I hardly watch TV. Yey!
- Because I can't sleep when it's warm, I don't use the heater during winter.
- I open the drapes and use natural a.k.a. sun light during the day.
- I try to remember to unplug my laptop once it's charged and let it discharge and then plug it back in when it's low on battery, rather than having it plugged all the time. Saves my battery too.
- Al and I started using candles at night when we're just watching a movie, instead of the side lamp. Smells good too!
- I don't let my mobile phone plugged in too long after it's charged.
- I bring my own toiletries on layovers. I don't like using hotel amenities and leave them three quarters full; the housekeeper would probably just throw the opened bottles and used soaps away.

There are things though that I'm still guilty about:
- Not turning off the shower while shampooing/soaping. Eh mahirap buksan ulet to the right temperature that I like!
- Full blast aircon. I try to think this is neutralized with not using the heater on winter :)

How do YOU save the Earth?

Saturday, August 09, 2008

My Parents' SF Week

Having my parents in the United States was fun. Finally I was able to benefit from my work. They were excited, I was excited and their friends and relatives are even more excited! Everyday my T-Mobile kept ringing and a new number would appear and immediately pass on my phone to my mom. San Francisco was their first city in the US and as my father said, it wasn't much of a culture shock. He wouldn't be, knowing there are a lot of Filipinos there.

Day 1
My hunny dropped me off at the airport before he went to work and I waited for over an hour until I saw them come out of the automatic doors. Wee! I almost exclaimed, "Welcome to the United States!" Haha. Mama picked us up and we went home and gave them time to unpack and nap. I should know how sleep deprived they were, going through what they went through, just a week earlier. By dinnertime Papa is home and we head to Henry's, a Filipino restaurant where a band plays. Al came as soon as he got off work.

Day 2
Mama dropped us off at Serramonte where we were to meet tita Beth, a friend of theirs from Navotas. While waiting, we ended up browsing through Target and shopping for shoes at Payless. Tita Beth eventually came, and we went to Fisherman's Wharf. Starving, we dig in to clam chowders and everything seafood :) Pier 39 for pictures and then bought souvenirs too. I was insistent on going home already as my fresh-from-the-Philippines parents don't really know the time and thought that the sun is still out so it must still be 4-ish in the afternoon when in fact it was already past six! I had to go home to cook dinner coz Mama will be home soon and she doesn't have dinner. I was to cook Kare-kare and Nanay ended up doing it, haha! We invited tita Beth to have dinner at home to have a Filipino dish. Meanwhile, Al and I had to go to downtown San Francisco as soon as he got home from work coz they had a recording session.

Day 3
It's a Sunday and Tatay wanted to go to a thrift shop that tita Beth was telling him. It was an hour away and we took the BART to save on gas money--meet tita Beth instead of her going to SF to pick us up then to her place (Walnut Creek) then bring us back to SF. The store hours wasn't what we thought was so we had breakfast at Denny's muna then went back shopping. My parents spent about $150 in total, to think that items are $5~10 on the average! We weren't able to catch the 2pm Tagalog mass in SF so we went to meet tito Edwin and Gab (tita Beth's husband and daughter, respectively) and had snacks of ukoy and lumpia at home. I asked Nanay to cook her masterpiece Korean beef stew, then we went to hear mass at the nearby St. Augustine's church. It was five blocks away, we don't have a car so we gotta walk. Tatay said it's difficult to explain how strong the wind was, I say it's like you're driving on NLEX with your windows down. Then add to that the temperature of 12 degrees Celsius.

Day 4
Finally Al has a day off so we went to Union Square and gave them a dose of huge American steaks at Tad's. Then, off to the crookedest street--Lombard. We were at the top so we had to descend the stairs and then climb it on the way back. It was also my first time there. We went a few blocks down to Embarcadero and then later that afternoon we went to CostCo. We waited for Papa to get off work and we headed to Milpitas and dined at Hot Pot City.

Day 5
Brunch at the Half Day Cafe, the only place that I actually want my parents to go to. It reminded me so much of Cafe by the Ruins in Baguio. Brunch was followed by endless tries to get a Golden Gate shot sans the fog. Then proceeded to "Italy": The Palace of Legion of Honor. Afterwards, we cruised down Ocean Beach and attempted to have snacks at the Cliff House, but failed. It was expensive! We checked my parents in at an inn that they were really supposed to be at and we had dinner with Mama at a Chinese buffet off the airport highway.

Day 6
We drove thru McDonald's for breakfast and picked up my parents from the inn Now I put the Painted Ladies on the top of the list. I must say it was disappointing to see. It's a lot prettier in pictures! Anyway, dad insisted we go to Danville for reasons I don't know so we drove a good hour going there. Temperature was so different than in San Francisco, I was perspiring endlessly. We ended up at another thrift shop and while they shopped, Al and I hanged at Taco Bell for a cool fix of shakes. Had an early dinner afterwards with tita Beth and tito Edwin at a Chinese restaurant nearby. Drove back to San Francisco and panic packed my balikbayan box.

Last day in SF
I never imagined I'd be using a balikbayan box, ever in my life. My parents shopped for so much that I'd be bringing an 18x18x18 box going home and leaving a 22x22x22 box at Al's for them to send it by ship. We woke up early and picked Nanay and Tatay from the inn, and dropped them off to the domestic terminal. They took the 11:30am United flight to LAX and I went to the international terminal to take the Asiana flight going home. My flight was at 1:15pm so before I flew, my parents were already in LA!

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Finally... "Welcome!"

After so much stress and playing-it-by-ears, finally my parents are here in the States for a visit. It was both their first long haul flight and they were as tired as I was when I got here a week ago. They were lucky enough to have been granted American tourist visas--ten years multiple entries visa--a few days back and were luckier to have gotten on board as chance passengers on the first try.

You would say there's nobody else more thrilled than I am, but you're wrong. Nanay's highschool barkadas here in the States are waaay more excited than I am! They had been wanting Nanay to come to the States for around five or so years now but Nanay never applied for a visa. And now they're here. On free tickets!

They'll be spending a week here in SF and then they're flying to LA to visit some friends and relatives too. Hopefully next year they're going East Coast naman.

Thank you to Ms Jane (and Ms Sweet) who were really nice to my parents during the flight :)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Free Doesn't Mean Easy

Good morning sunshine! ...Well at least for me. It's sleeping time in Manila right now but hey I'm not there. I'm far behind and my July 23rd is just starting. 08:43am as I write. I'm finally on my vacay that I've been calculating and planning and planning and planning for at least a couple of months now. But hey, it didn't come easy.

July 20th. I went home on the morning flight. Arrived at NAIA at around lunchtime. Off to get a 3G phone that will work in Korea. Luckily mommy dearest has two new phones: one from Smart that she gets every two years, and another from an upgrade of her company phone. Tatay, Nanay and I all talk into switching phones to save me from a possible PhP12,000 spend and kuya from PhP5,000 (coz he was gonna buy my phone when I get a new one). So yea you guessed it, I got the Nokia 6500 classic by using my "communication skills". Finished off businesses I needed to take care of in Manila.

July 21st. Woke up at 9am. Packed my bags, called up Expedia, booked for an inn, talked to the work manager who called me about some "irresponsibility" (like I care), and by 9pm I'm at NAIA once again. Went to the check in counter and found it odd that they're still putting me on standby eventhough it isn't a full flight. (Free tickets are standby tickets.) I dig up Joseph's number (my UST batchmate who now works ground for Asiana) and ask him stuff. The power of texting prevails and in a matter of minutes I have my boarding pass.

Who knew that on the leg that I'm not worried about is where I'd have more difficulties? I was in at the immigration booth and this officer tells me I need my OEC(?) which was the OFW card. I told him I'm not one, yet. He's like, "You've been working overseas for two years blahblahblah." He orders me to go to the OWWA center, where they tell me I don't need it coz I'm flying for sightseeing and not for work. That makes sense. Just because I wrote "cabin crew" on the Occupation field I get in trouble?

I went back to the officer and thoroughly explained that I don't need it since I'm traveling not to work. Leisure. Sightseeing. Every possible word. And he was like, "You're flying to your home base to tour?" And I'm like, "I have standby tickets to the U.S." Then he goes, "Even so. Blahblahblah..."

I dunno what the hell is wrong with that bading pero he just doesn't listen. Finally I go back to the Asiana counter and Sir Sandy confirms that I don't need whatever the bading was asking of me and takes matters in his hands. I stand back a good 50meters away while Sir Sandy talks to the immigration officer and then gives me a go signal. Approaching the officer for the third time, he was like smiling and saying, "Oh magttour ka pala?" Tanginang yan. Which part of 'leisure,' 'travel,' 'tour,' and 'sightseeing' did he not understand? Tanginang yan. I smile with a sarcastic tangina-alam-mo-naman look. Hell, he asked me that I was going to Seoul to TOUR then he's gonna tell me, "Oh magttour ka pala?" The guy next to him was coughing "Bias" out loud and they were just laughing. Tanginang yan. He was like telling me to go to POEA earlier to do this and that and I'm telling him this flight is not for work. Heck I'm not even in uniform! Well maybe I should've just worn my uniform then pass through unharmed then changed into casual clothes just so I wouldn't have dealt with that horse. (I say horse because he's like one, you know, he sees only one direction and that direction only.)
July 22nd. I get to Incheon at a very early morning: 04:45am. The flight to San Francisco isn't for twelve hours. Hell yea you read that right. Half a day at the airport. I felt so Tom Hanks in The Terminal. The transfer desk I can't be issued a boarding pass yet as the SF flight is overbooked and I'd just have to pray and wish someone gets stuck in traffic and/or decides to go on another day. I'm instructed to go back to the desk ten minutes prior boarding. With that, I pull my luggage and find a dark spot in the airport where I put on my eyemask and sleep. After a couple of hours, I peek through my eyemask and see that the sun is up and the human density is increasing. I get up and freshen up before I choose McCafe as the place to have breakfast. I dig in the hotcakes while sighing, "Ten more hours."

Hella bored, I try my laptop at the wifi hotspot. Doesn't work; guy says something's wrong with the IP address. Good thing they have their own VAIOs so I use it and people are still asleep so it's no use. My phone works though. Good. By 10am I have walked past gates 30 to 50 and prolly have memorized the flights on those particular gates. I check out gate 40 where the SF flight would be at and notice there aren't many Filipinos. I settle for a seat and made a friend with an equally bored person and equally on the twelve-hour wait. Brian (from Vallejo) and I play Sudoku, play music on my laptop, get up, freshen up, he smokes, we eat, he sleeps, I shop... We've prolly done everything we could imagine but there's still more hours to pass.

By 3-ish I meet up with Cielo who's on the way to Singapore to get my money that she withdrew from my account. (Thanks Ciel!) 3:30 I wait around for Mi-Jin, who will go as add crew on the SF flight and hand her an English workbook that I bought from CostCo. She wishes me good luck in getting a seat as it's really full as per Ms Gandy and Ms Mariane (who would also be in the flight as duty crew and add crew, respectively). 3:40 I proceed to the counter and the manager tells me to return after ten minutes.

It was probably the longest ten minutes I could ever think of. I was literally staring at the clock until it struck 3:50. Ten minutes prior boarding. I hand over my passport, ticket, ID (for confirmation that I'm an Asiana employee) and cross my fingers. She still doesn't look up from the computer and it was making me nervous. Finally she says, "I'm sorry... You don't have a choice of seat, we only have one available." And I'm like, "OMG I don't really care which seat, as long as I get on the flight!" So lucky. Very lucky. I get an exit row so she briefs me: "Your seat is on the exit row so..." I just smile and confirm and she smiles back as she's saved from muttering more English words. On the plane, the cabin crew do the briefing. I memorized that by heart.

She hands me back my documents plus a boarding pass with one last sentence. "Go to the gate now." To which I wide-smiledly obey after saying endless kamsahamnidas.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


July 08, 2008 - OZ 752 - Singapore to Seoul
Scheduled Time of Departure - 23:30 Seoul Time
(all times are in GMT+9 timezone)

21:30. Checked out from the hotel.
22:25. Preparing service items for the flight inside the plane.
23:05. Getting myself ready for boarding of passengers.

Over the PA system, the cabin manager announces we'll have delayed boarding by two hours because there's an engine problem so they're still trying to fix it. Crew meal preparation starts. Hmm dinner. Just right, I'm starving. Took my celphone out of my bag and texted Al.

00:10. Having crew meal dinner on a passenger seat.

It was getting really warm inside the cabin as the engine won't be able to support the airconditioning system while it's being fixed. Meanwhile, we hoard blankets to provide the passengers at the gate area, where it's really cold. I remove my coat and continue eating.

01:30. Feeling really sleepy already, I made myself a cup of coffee.

Chatting with Ate Sofie, it's getting really really warm so I undid my scarf. Most of the crew is asleep on business class seats. I can't imagine how they could fall asleep when I'm sweating endlessly. Ew. Every now and then we hoard more cups, water, blankets, orange juice and hand them over to the ground staff who were taking care of the impatient passengers outside.

01:50. I overheard the first officer tell the captain that we will be extending another two more hours (lead time) to let the maintenance team work on the engine, and if it doesn't get fixed by then we'll have to head back to a hotel and fly in the morning. Right, as if it isn't morning yet.

By now passengers are really mad. I could tell by the faces of the ground staff. There was even a time when they asked one crew to go and talk to them coz the passengers wanted to speak to a Korean. More water, more juice, cups and almost every blanket has been given out by now. A number of passengers had gone back to hotels and will take the next Asiana flight the following night.

05:30. Over the PA, we were notified to prepare to go back to hotel.

Well finally! Scorching heat inside that metal tube called airplane got me looking like I already came from a flight. Oops, why can't we go out yet? They're trying to get as much passengers out from the gate area before we go through for fear that they'd attack us(?) We've been advised that some passengers are sleeping there already and will be flying on a Singapore Airlines flight in a couple of hours or so.

06.30. We're back at a hotel. Will get sleep before the sun rises!

13:30. I woke up from coma.
13:55. The phone rings. Wakeup call. Leaving the hotel by 14:15, flight by 15:30.

What the hell! Twenty minutes to prepare?! I call up Ate Sofie then literally run and change to my uniform, pull my hair back to whatever bun I could manage, dab a little makeup and run. Once inside the coach that takes us from the hotel to the airport, all of us were doing our makeup.

14:50. Airport. We learn it's a ferry flight!

Oh yea. So we really didn't need the makeup after all. We're flying ferry flight (no passengers). Hmm. It's my first. What do we actually do? No idea.

15:45. We're still in Singapore. WTH? Why aren't we moving yet? More delays! Waaaaaah! Some unclear paths over Manila (of all the places) makes it impossible to pass so we aren't cleared for takeoff.
16:00. Crew meal again. Me thinks, will the delays ever stop?

I'm so worried coz unlike most of the crew onboard who gets a dayoff on July 10, I don't. I'm scheduled to fly to LAX the following day, and yes Los Angeles is one of the most tiring flights and particularly the one I hate the most. I haven't had a decent sleep nor a decent shower--oh if only there's a shower room onboard I'd be the first one to use it!

17:00. Takeoff. Finally!

We just had to do the doors and then we're free to somersault in the aircraft. We all are in business class doing our own businesses. Haha. There's a galley full of supplies so when I get thirsty I just get up and serve myself. Add crew life in business class with absolutely no passengers. Hair down, coats and scarves off, and wearing slippers... We lounge around like I was just in Seokyo Hotel.

The big question in my head was: What's my schedule for the following days?

To the passengers who were freaking out and shouting, I have just one thing to say: Don't complain when there's a safety issue like this engine problem. There's always a choice: Fly then die in a crash, OR wait and actually get to your destination. You think we actually like delays? If you have to get to your destination asap and it's a matter of life and death, I believe you won't think twice about getting another flight. There always are other options.

I got LAX cancelled for me and was given days off if you must ask. :) Wee. I got checked in at the hotel past midnight. You could imagine the shock of the people at front desk. Haha.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Tips for an NY tour

Tabby's really slow. I'm thinking of getting it downgraded to XP although Al said HP wanted to do troubleshooting over the phone before they send us a box to send Tabby to them and alter the configs. Like, it takes 30 plus minutes for a complete boot, otherwise it's gonna hang.

Updates, updates.

To those reading this on my official blog, I've been to New York where Al joined me for a three-day layover. Officially the navigator and tour guide for a good three days, not to mention travel agent. Everything's great. Getting lost and figuring out the subway station, referring to maps, getting drenched in the rain, queuing up with fellow tourist and of course, getting our cameras on their best modes for the must-capture photos.

Here are some tips to a good New York tour:
1.) Check the weather and dress accordingly.
2.) Buy an Empire State Building Express Pass off the internet. You'd be wowed how express "Express" could be. If you need entrance tickets, get them through the internet rather than onsite to save your time. If you plan on visiting a lot of places, consider the NY Pass.
3.) Use the subway (not advisable for late nights) and get a day pass.
4.) Street food is great.
5.) The less you carry, the longer you'd survive.
6.) Comfortable shoes and 5th Avenue go together.

That's all I could think of right now. I'm hella tired and sleep from my SF flight where I stayed for two days over at Al's. Shopped one day (ooh I love the 4th of July sales!) and the other dedicated to doing home stuff like laundry and cooking dinner. I'm on my fourth week of the six-week work period that I have--and my back hurts already. =[

Monday, June 23, 2008

TV Series addict

Oh yea, I finished Grey's Anatomy's Season 4 in three days. And now I'm starting Gossip Girl. I just found out that there a lot of links online where you could stream videos, prolly TiVo-d episodes, and I'm enjoying it. No commercials, no fuss. I have to get a lot going on so I won't spend too much time looking at myself in the mirror and getting disappointed over my spots--which are now visible on my neck while wearing a t-shirt. Sigh.

Aaaaaanyway... I'm flying over to New York tomorrow and he's flying over too. Would you believe I'd wear a ring (that was in a jewelry set that my mom bought me for my 18th birthday) coz I'll be telling all the other crew that my fiance is coming over? Yea, to stop those gossipy gals from making a big deal out of boyfriends. They just don't get it, having boyfriends in another country. Oh well I hope NY weather cooperates and gives us just the right amount of shade to be in places we wanted to be.

New York. Haha. So Sex and the City. So Gossip Girl.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Bits and Bytes

Thanks to everyone who wished me luck and offered prayers for me regarding my last post. Anyway, as usual I'm trying to make the most out of everything and now I'm making PLEVA an excuse to wear those bikini tops (ahehehe Hun, peace!) and get a tan. Maybe I do need to be tanner. I used to be. Then winter came and US flights too... Hmm gotta be more conscious about that from now on.

I've started my six week work period about a week ago so I'm down to five. What is it exactly? Well I had my June days off starting on June 1 and won't be home til last week of July--that's what we call "back-to-back" work (there's also back-to-back day off which is you go home last week of a month and it continues to first of the next)--and that means six weeks of no Manila. Could've been waay too hard for me but I was blessed to soon be able to feel a sense of home as I'm gonna see Al three times before the six weeks end.

On other news, I've been studying Manhattan subway system and I really found it hard at first and then I dug deeper into research and it's not so bad at all. Though it might not be a no-brainer as the LRTs we use in the Philippines or the Metro Seoul in Korea, but a subway map and common sense would be all you need. Hah! Let's see where it's gonna take me on my next layover--New York!

On yet another news, I absolutely hate Vista now. I'm thinking about going back to XP. Any thoughts on that? I'm just adamant that I'm gonna put that genuine Vista to waste.

Oops my time's almost up I'm here at Shangri-La New Delhi, and it's awesome. It's not all the time we get to stay at real five-star hotels. Hmmm. Wonder where we're gonna have dinner now... Til next post you guys! Will visit blogs when I get back to Seoul.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Back to Spots

PLEVA (Pityriasis Leichenoides et Variolaformis Acuta) also known as Mucha Habermann's Disease is thought to be a disease of the immune system because of the white blood cells present. It is characterized by rashes and lesions, slightly raised red spots in layman's terms. It gets itchy when it's warm, spreads all over, looks like psoriasis and other people mistake it for chickenpox. It gets scabbed at times depending on how dry your skin or how much you scratch or pick on it. Predominantly on males but there are also women who suffer from the disease. Noticeable during the second and third decade of life.

I had this two years ago, right before I applied for my job. I went to three different dermatologists before someone actually diagnosed that I had PLEVA. Very little is know about the disease, the cause being unknown therefore the cure is too. Ultraviolet treatments help make the spots disappear for a period of time, going into remissions. Most antibiotics--oral or topical--are mostly ineffective. When the rashes flared up and I went on sick leave for a week, I went through steroids, creams, lotions and nothing worked. UV treatments at Makati Med are costly, so my dermatologist suggested I go sunbathing as often as I can since I'm always away on flights so I can't make it to the thrice a week treatments.

It went away after half a year or so, to my delight, because I'm already the color of wood from too much sunbathing. I never expected it to be back so soon, just a couple of years! Some people say theirs stay for years and some say they go away for years. Looks like mine's short-term.

It's depressing, yes. And I feel for those people (on blogs, forums and sites) who has had them for years. Yes, it does bring you down. The helpless feeling that you get when you're in a warm humid weather (a.k.a. Manila) and the rashes flare out, you're itchy but you can't scratch. The stares you get when you're in an elevator or riding the MRT and people move slightly away from you, thinking it's chickenpox. Oh yea, I'm getting depressed.

I try to sleep all the time to prevent myself from picking on it, from even remembering I have them. I stand in front of electric fans, under the airconditioning unit just so I'd feel cooler and less itchy. Pretty soon I won't be wearing sleeveless again or my signature V-cut blouses as the rashes would show. I kind of get why someone on one site said that if only the cure would be developed, he/she'd pay whatever the price just so he/she could live normal again.

I wonder why I get the medical stuff that can't be cured. Last week it was PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which might actually lead to stage two Diabetes, obesity and a difficult pregnancy or infertility, and then now it's PLEVA's return...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Humps on my Vacay

I had been planning to go on a vacation on the last week of July connecting to the first week of August for so long. Planned to use our free tickets and tour my parents 'round Los Angeles and San Francisco (West Coast) but it seems it's getting difficult for us to do so.

First, I should request for a last-week-of-July days off in Manila and then do another request for the first week of August. The July ones got granted and then I heard that some pages of the request for August got lost... Nice. :(

Then as for my parents, I've been telling them to apply for a U.S. visa ever since the time I thought of this but they just prepared their stuff a couple of months back, and then a few days ago I learned they still haven't scheduled themselves for an interview so I pushed my mom to do it already... And I was right, there weren't any more slots for interview for June and July before our preferred departure! They got scheduled for July 28th.

Looks like I'm gonna go alone or something... Hmm. I'll have to wait for August schedule to come out and then I'll decide.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Lovin' Tabby!

My HP tx2000 series baby--Tabby--is a week old now :) I'm still figuring some things out but anyhow, I'm satisfied and I am actually browsing for a protector for its screen. I saw this website from a review and I'm thinking of getting it.. The price isn't so bad at all, compared to the price of those I saw on eBay and stuff.

I've been to two different locations today and spent ample time surfing the net thru Wifi for free and I'm happy about that! I'm definitely on the hunt for free wifi hotspots now. Hahaha. Cheapskate! Battery life, I have no idea whether to be impressed or not as my old laptop was always connected to power supply, hahaha.

Vista... Hmm it's my first time to use Vista and I'm lost! Seriously. Hahaha. I miss the desktop gadgets that I used to have on my older laptop as the World Time gadget available for Vista isn't as lovely. The notes too; I can't pull it and make it longer so I have to scroll downwards to see all my notes. I do like the calendar reminders though, more efficient than before. The Start menu feels like a mess and I'm still on the quest on clearing as much system tray icons as possible. My desktop is already neat except for the Recycle Bin (as always) and the desktop gadgets.

Yahoo Messenger for Vista, currently on its Beta version, is a no-go. I just have it coz I like how it looks. But feature-wise, it isn't so wise to use it now. Go back to the older YM version.

I still don't have a full-version of an anti-virus, I just have the pre-installed trial version of Norton. I'm also still running on trial MS Office version. I haven't bought any Adobe Photoshop
software yet...and I'm itching to. :)

That's it for now folks!!!

Friday, May 30, 2008

My Baby

I was back in SF after six weeks of waiting. Can't imagine how much I missed my Al. Ayun lang. I brought him some stuff I bought from Baguio, London, Manila and Sydney for him. Geez how many flights was it before I went back? And next month I don't even have an SF flight! Ohwell that's how it goes...

For other news, I got a new baby :) If last year it was D (my Nikon D40) and then a few months back it was Polly (my Nintendo DS Lite), now it's Tabby--my HP tx2000 series tablet laptop! I had been saving up for this baby for quite sometime now, and it was in and out of the market with its price going up and down. As soon as we got to SF, we headed to the only Circuit City store in a 30-mile radius where it was still available. And this is the last one in stock! Hahaha. Almost didn't make it!

We went in to the store, told the guy the model we're looking for, he says, "Yeah we have one." I go the counter, pay it and then leave. Yeah.

Anyway, SF layover was all about money this month. After paying a thousand or so for my laptop it was time to make tipid moves. Haha. I've sworn off being a nonchalant spender and keep in mind what my dad told me a few weeks back, "The problem that I see with you is that when you have excess money, you think of what you could purchase even if you don't need it; but when in fact you just have enough, you think of what you need and then you save for it." I'm quite guilty about this, especially this birthday month that I was home, I think I spent a month's pay in half a month.

So, enough window shopping for me. Will try to think of what I need instead of "browsing for what I need". Wish me luck!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Lips of an Angel

That song, by Hinder, makes me shiver every time I hear it.

I gotta whisper coz I can't be too loud
My girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish it was you...

Fuckin' cheaters. I so hate cheaters, and just the thought that they're out there lurking plus the fact that anybody could actually become one pisses me off. As if cheating can't get any worse, it actually does. The worse part is when the person is married.

But girl you make it hard to be faithful...

If you can't be faithful with the one you're with right now, then leave him/her and go with the other one. There's no sense in being together when you aren't really in it. You have the guts, because you have the guts to go behind his/her back so use the guts and go head-on with your problem and tell your partner outright that you wanna see somebody else.

No I don't think she has a clue...

Knowing people cheat, that married people cheat, that some married people who you never expected could cheat are cheating makes me wanna throw up; kinda lost my faith on marriage for the meantime.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

100 Q's from Obi

Right arm, 1 by half inch rectangular scar from an inflight oven burn~ think 180degrees Celsius

A small corkboard and wall mirror

Started snoring lightly when I gained weight, and when I'm really tired

Kahit anong isend sakin: Alternative, Pop, Techno, Rock, R&B, Soul, Hawaiian,, wag lang Hard Rock aka Slapshock type :)

9:46 am

To have the best of both worlds (al and family)

San Francisco layover

my D

5' 7"



edi si Al, lagi nalang! kainis!

To be unloved

Not very particular with hair/eye colors, basta lang bagay

Somewhere may sunset? But yea anywhere might just be as nice

Coffee! Tinatanong pa ba yan!

Bacon, meat balls, extra cheese

Taho! Shet naman isang linggo na ko dito di pa ko nakakain ng taho ulet!


Like alive? Ew :)

I think every gift is meaningful naman, I can't remember


Huh? Ano yun, paki explaaaaaaaaaaaaain!

Brand does not matter, design does

Female: Megan Fox
Male: Chad Michael Murray and that guy on Step Up 1

No he died a couple of months ago and nobody told me! WAH!

A dog

Been there, done that! Lech bat ganun!



Uh, yea?

Food :)


Technically eRep sa PeopleSupport

Yep to a classmate during first year highschool

Yes, some people are just too lazy to find em

Kausap si Al sa phone


Nothing I could think of right now

Yes, two years to be particular

That HP Laptop I've been eyeing for months!


Katia came from a Russian ballerina(?) my mom saw on a magazine

Feel na feel na gwapo: Kahit gano pa sya kagwapo kung ang ugali nya e feeling nya nagkandarapa sa kanya yung mga girls e pasensya sya dahil hindi ako madadapa

Tambay after classes

Anti dandruff

Ayos naman


I don't smile when there's nothing to smile about

A very firm NO

Yeah kasi hindi ako plastik

You mean if I have friends with benefits or if I understand? LOL

Kinda thought it does pero now I don't think like that anymore

Rolling my eyes

Be happy

I don't have one


Bakit, cute ba sya?

I'm a master of it :)

Mac and cheese men!

No pretentions

Katrina, Katia, Tia, Kat, Katsie, Ryne, Rhino, Ninang, Ate~~

67. Sino nag-bura ng number 67??

Mythbusters saka Aircrash Investigation

Forget them

Ben and Jerry's chocolate almond brownie fudge

Ooo namaaaaan


Timog siguro or Q Av?

120 kph

Para may matutunan naman ako sa kanila

Secondhand Serenade songs :)

Pepsi Max


Eyes,, ay, hair?

Mag internet

My weight, hahaha

May kasi birthday ko saka bakasyon days :) tapos December kasi Christmas

Chewy candies

Proud to say Yes

Brownish black

Dark Brown

KFC and McDonald's: present in almost every country :)

Hirap naman mag decide :) YlangYlang Cafe at Manila Hotel :)

Sashimi please

Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition Plus (naks kumpleto! minsan lang manood ng tv yan)

Birthday ko din syempre

Nothing im really good at, a little of piano and guitar

I don't really care



Bagong bala kay Polly (my DS Lite)


Wala, mga self-study Korean books galing kay MiJin

OK naman, rolling (interpret!)

Monday, May 12, 2008

Happiness on GQ

Excerpts from an article on GQ UK, June 2008:

"We live our lives under the godless heavens, we turn to man's final question: how to be happy?

To elbow our way to the peak of the working world or leave the rat race behind? To strive without ceasing for the nicer seat, the bigger house, the better job, the faster car, the prettier woman, all the gilded laurels of the big boys -- oh, would you be happy then?"

"We think we know what it takes, but soon learn that we know nothing. Happiness is more than the absence of pain. Happiness is more than a momen of transient bliss."

"We think that the recipe for instant happiness is to stuff it all in. All the women you can bed, all the drink you can hold down, all the fast, white powder you can shovel up your greedy little snout. But hedonism is merely the desperate flight from unhappiness."

"Success is a prerequisite of happiness but it doesn't get you there. It merely means you have collected your boarding card. The foundation of lasting happiness is built on many things, not least knowing when you have got it good."

"What links the high priests of happiness is their emphasis on balance, especially between opposed principles. The balance between longterm goals and immediate needs; the balance between self-interest and social benevolence; the balance between our potential and our limitations; the balance between family and work, love and sex, me time and them time, delayed gratification and the needs of right here, right now."

"Happiness is not a permanent state. You can't suddenly and unexpectedly arrive there, as though it was a destination just beyond the edge of the A-Z. Even with all the stalwarts in place -- the work going well, the weight kept off, the money coming in, the family happy, the sun shining -- happiness comes and goes, and the heartbreaker is that we so rarely appreciate it when we are up to our necks in it."

Saturday, May 10, 2008

24 Hours of Turning 22

00:41 ~ On my way home from Clark airport, I switched my phone on and messages started coming in. Unsurprisingly, my best friend Jhen's was the first to come.

01:25 ~ I called dad to tell him I'm on my way home and he told me he isn't home: he's at Makati Medical Center where my mom is confined for the second night already. Late news! Mom didn't want me to worry so they didn't tell me; I asked the driver to drop me off at Makati Med instead.

01:58 ~ Woke Nanay up and got settled into a sofa. Dozed off.

06:30 ~ My eyemask gets pulled off and it's kuya waking up the birthday girl!

07:30 ~ Off to the hospital's chapel to hear mass.

08:10 ~ Walked my way to Asiana's office at HV Dela Costa street. Passed by Maxicare office to get referral letters. (I have decided that since every birthday marks another year of life, I will make it a point to get an annual physical/dental checkup every birthday. And since my mom is in the hospital, where better to get the checkups done?)

09:26 ~ Waiting outside a gynecologist's office. I'm fidgeting, it's my first time to do a gynecological checkup.

11:15 ~ Out carrying specimen and lots of doctor's papers, headed to the lab to get three tests done (the other three will be done the next day). Mom was settling her bills too, got released :)

13:35 ~ Strolling by Greenbelt 5, chose Chateau 1771 for my birthday lunch. The waitress overheard me talking about birthday plans and pulled of a Happy Birthday surprise together with other crew and with a signature 1771 coffee cake :) I so love surprises!

15:15 ~ Gave in to Nanay's request of desserts at Damaso.

16:00 ~ On our way to Manila to meet with kuya and the rest of the family.

16:48 ~ Arrived at Robinson's Midtown, Nanay and I went in to Dashing Diva at Beauty Bar to get our nails done. :) Mommy bonding! She's turning 50 in a week so she does deserve pampering.

19:00 ~ Kuya's finally off work so we start heading for a Korean resto at Jupiter Street but heavy rains flood the roads to our destination so we retreat and tried to find one in Malate.

20:18 ~ Finally found a good Korean resto at Malvar Street called Hwaro 92 :)

21:55 ~ All to Diamond Hotel for desserts and coffee. Another birthday surprise by the crew! Two more candles blown :)

23:39 ~ At home, finally.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Job Opportunity: Flight Attendants for Asiana

I remember I applied for this job two years ago on my birthday. And now exactly two years later, they're on the hunt for flight attendants again. What's with my birthday and Asiana Airlines' hiring for cabin crew? Haha.. To those interested follow the directions here. Let's be workmates and suffer Korean culture together! Cool right? :)

Monday, May 05, 2008


What actually entails cheating? For over a week now, I've been--for the lack of suitable term--paranoid. One night I dreamt I caught Al in bed with another woman, the slightest delay in sending me messages would tick me off. I seem to hear more stories of breakups, cheaters and unhappiness in relationships lately.

One of my seniors, who happens to be also in the battle of getting SFO flights every month for her boyfriend, has told me that in this job, the pattern for LDR (long distance relationship) breakups is within the proximity of the second anniversary. If for normal relationships, it's the seven-year itch, it's just a couple of years here. I wondered why.

My opinion is that because the people in LDRs, if given the choice, would always opt for the non-longdistance one. That being said, they're always in the midst of giving up. Letting go after holding on. The strength, the courage and the enthusiasm to hold on depends on how happy the relationship is. But of course as in any relationship, it's not always smiles. So when time comes that a big argument errupts, they call it quits, as if to say it's not worth holding on to if during the only time you get connected (chat/phone/etc) you just fight.

Then there's this story of a friend's friend whose relationship lasted 18 years, before they got married. The woman filed for divorce after 8 years of marriage upon finding out that her husband had been cheating on her for four years already.

A friend in Santee, CA whose boyfriend happens to be with the US Navy had been waiting for her boyfriend for about nine months now. He went away on a mission. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I guess too much absence makes you forget. They've just broken up a few days back, because he slept with another woman.

Yesterday I woke up with a wrenched feeling. I dreamt I was sleeping comfortably snuggled on my boyfriend's bed then I heard someone open the door then I saw Al. I was jolted wide awake realizing that in my dream I slept with another guy.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Korean Wannabe

Disgustingly, a number of Filipinos right now are Korean wannabes. Trying so hard to copy their fashion, learning the language, forcing themselves to eat kimchi, you name it. Fired up by the boom of Korean TV shows/series and movies, a lot of the young people would kill to be in my position: deals with Koreans, eats Korean, speaks Korean and practically lives in Korea.

Well, it's disgusting. Yes, I am absolutely disgusted with their rudeness. Especially of their men. "Gentlemen" is the most inappropriate way to address the he community of Korea.

Last night, we were at Starbucks at Camp John Hay and my kuya and I were trying to find ourselves a table. We found three unoccupied coffee tables at the veranda and since we were seven in total, we tried rearranging the tables and chairs using two tables and seven chairs. As we were counting on and rearranging the chairs, three Koreans came and saw the other unoccupied coffeetable. As I grabbed one last chair to complete the seven, somebody tugged it back. My sister needed to go somewhere so she nudged one of their chairs a little to the right so she could pass, and the Korean seriously moved it back kahit hindi pa nakakadaan.

Kung matino kang tao, kung may nakita kang nag aayos ng mga mauupuan na nauna sayo, tama bang makipaghilahan ka ng upuan? Hintayin mong matapos sila dahil nauna sila dun. Problema mo maghanap ng kulang mo. Nakita mong may dadaan, hindi ka ba uusod ng kaunti para makadaan yung tao?

I angrily glared at one of them, and I almost spoke to them in Korean; I wanted to tell them last night, "Hey, are you Korean? You're in the Philippines and you're being what Koreans are--rude. I tolerate your culture/rudeness when I'm in your country and respect the way things are in Korea; but when you're in my country learn to respect the people here."

+ + +

Here are just some of the reasons why I hate them:
:: Like what the image (from this source) text says, they push and shove and won't even say sorry.
:: They are discriminate racially.
:: Fakes. They pretend, a lot. From being nice down to pretending their LVs are authentic.
:: Makeup. All the time. Even janitresses wear makeup. Beat that.
:: Too much seniority that you can't reason out to higher up. True even outside Asiana though it's worse in Asiana.
:: Korean men. Enough said.

Friday, April 25, 2008

On Arranged Marriages

I met up last night with my best friend Jhen who happens to be here in Baguio on the same days that we're here. She came with three of her cousins and I asked them to join us for dinner. All are younger than us, teeners, to be exact.

Joanna, whom I'm familiar with, told me bluntly, "Ate Katia, kasal na ko." (I'm married already.) I said she's bluffing: she doesn't have a boyfriend, she's bisexual, she's nineteen, blahblahblah. She showed me her wedding ring which she used as a pendant.

As they gulp down margaritas and snack on sisig, so goes the story of her fixed marriage. Came this American citizen Filipino national boy who was a family friend, now with the US Marine, trying to find someone he could marry for--in what I understood--a salary increase. He met Joanna and is actually fascinated by her, proposed the idea to his and her family. Personally, she doesn't want this, she told me. She was given the time to think, and finally she agreed, last month. I asked what made her decide to go for it, knowing she's not happy (as of the moment at least) about it. She told me she'll be going against everybody's will if she doesn't.

Yea, she'll be a step closer to becoming an American citizen, she'll take her family with her... So maybe that's why everybody pushes her to marry that guy. The [Filipino] American Dream. Almost every Filipino has it, and it's what makes people narrowminded about such decisions. They didn't even think about her happiness; marriage is a lifelong decision, and even if the marriage can get divorced/annuled, the thought of using your daughter to get what you want is still not excusable. What about the years she'll be wasting if the marriage turns out so bad?

Sacrifices are something you do because you want to do them, I'm going to live in another country because I want to be with my boyfriend; but I can't imagine her leaving her home, her friends, her family and everything she can call home for someone she barely knows. And all because the people push her to do so. This is nothing short of selling your kid.

She's nineteen, for crying out loud. She may not be able to realize right now what that decision entails, and the people who are supposed to be thinking for her is too blinded by 'future' it's gonna bring to them.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Helped and Pissed

Brushing my teeth inside one of those small lavatories in the plane when I heard someone paging for a doctor or a nurse over the PA. Being the one who'd always make the announcements, I know it isn't that serious because they skipped the "we have a patient onboard who needs immediate medical attention" part. Yes, it matters to them. So okay I still brushed my teeth at my own pace; how many times on the flight could I actually do things my pace, right?

When I got out, I asked some crew if there was anyone sick. They just shrugged and said that someone just wanted his blood pressure checked. I said, "I can do it if he has the sphyg and stethoscope." Her face went blank and she looked up from her meal tray, "Really?" Then she interphoned one of the seniors and told them I could.

I was told to get to the middle of the plane as the passenger was on the 21st row. When I got there, the passenger doesn't actually have the equipment; we do have it inside our medical kit but the thing is, because of some medicines inside it, only doctors and nurses are allowed to use the kit (we, on the other hand, are allowed to use only the first aid kit). I can't do anything about that, I'm not a nurse nor a doctor and the Koreans are really bookish about these things. (They can't imagine me using the stuff and I'm not a nurse--like I'm gonna be able to kill the patient with a stethoscope?) I shrugged and started to walk away.

But the patient--an American, by the way--really wanted to have his blood pressure checked. I could imagine, my mom always felt that way. I tell you, if this passenger was Korean, they would have given me the equipment without hesitation. Yes, they are way more racially discriminating than you could ever imagine. It's not who's black, who's white, who's Asian, who's Latino, no. It's Korean or non-Korean.

The manager, who seemed like a newbie and didn't want complaints on her records, looked helpless and asked me if I had medical training. No. She looked at me as if I was wasting her time. "But I can do it if you have the equipment." I do it for my parents, grandparents and to anybody possible. Hesitant, she called for one junior to get the stuff. She handed em over and said, "Could you check if you can use this?" And upon opening up the velcro and saw the stethoscope with it, I said yes. She looked at me with an are-you-sure look. WTF.

What, like it's hard? Like it's complicated?

After checking for the first time, I usually recheck and do the process all over again. So I said to the passenger, "One more time, okay?" to let him know what I was doing. SHE, on the other hand, is ready to tear me off the medical equipments and told me, "If you can't do it, then don't." Say that in front of the passenger? What the fuck? The passenger obviously knows that I KNOW what I'm doing. Even the wife knows how to do it because she helps me keep the velcro in place coz the man's arm was huge. Heck, the manager doesn't even know if it's okay to put the meter just about anywhere. I glanced up at her and proceeded for my recheck.

Confirming his blood pressure I told him, "It's a hundred and forty over eighty, what's your normal?" And this inconfident manager pipes in, "She's not sure, but maybe it is." I wanted to smash her face right then and there. Really. I gathered up the materials and handed it back to her while the passenger was telling me his normal was 120/80, and she was still saying, "she's not sure" to the passenger. That's it, I started to walk away before I say anything to her. As I was walking away, the wife assured the manager that I'm right coz she was watching the gauge too while I was checking his blood pressure.

I was fucking pissed. I was there trying to help a passenger and get her out of the dangers of getting complaints and possibly someone having a stroke on board and she was saying those things IN FRONT of the passenger? Fucking bitch.

I so wanted to tell her, "Not because you don't know how to do it means I don't too." Get a life.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Living THE life?

"This is the life others can only dream about."

I saw this slogan handwritten on an Asiana planner that must have been forgotten here at the computer area of the office. Wow. She must be living the life. Well, why wouldn't she? She's in her own country, with her family, and possibly her boyfriend/husband too. Then you work, get the money and travel. That's really got to be the "life others can only dream about."

This isn't true for me though. I'm a very domesticated person and though I love to travel and see places too, I realized it isn't as fun when you do it alone. You get to London and see all the architecture but no one to share your awe to. You see the Statue of Liberty and no one's there to take your picture. Who's gonna go with you to climb the Angkor Wat?

The sadder part, is being away from my family. Not only do you feel greatly left out during flights--with everyone speaking their language and you're on your own on how to amuse yourself, like counting how many seconds/minutes it takes before the next passenger call button is pressed.

For the past few days, I've been itching to go home. I know, my scheduled flight home is not for another 10days or so, but I have been trying to find a way to cut that short. My lolo, who was in the hospital when I left Manila, had not been eating. Dad told me they hadn't been avoiding the subject of death so as to prepare Lola of what may come. I felt so helpless. I'm here, nobody to share my loneliness, sadness and grief to; not at home even to be with the person I fear won't make it long.

I don't know what else to say.

Friday, April 04, 2008

4 Days 4 People

Aren't we the luckiest people on earth? Last flight, we went to SF where I was with Mica, Cielo and MM; and now I just arrived back in Seoul from Seattle, spent the layover with Mica, Nicki and Monica!

Day 1: Hella tired--the mind was willing but the body won't cooperate. Slept after arrival and woke up and had Thai food delivered at the hotel.

Day 2: Took Mica downtown with the 30-minute bus ride and blocks of walking. Good thing that the weather cooperated with us and though chilly, it's sunny. Public Market and the first Starbucks (which was soo crowded with Chinese tourists) then a little bit of shopping here and there. I so wanted to buy a pair of swimsuit at Old Navy but I dunno maybe not this month, LOL! Ate at Westlake Center's foodcourt, then bought some food to go from Jack in the Box and retired at the hotel.

Day 3: Woke up just before Mica left my room and prepared as Monica arrived. Went to the mall with ate Nix, shopped a little bit more, then went with Monix to Circuit City to get a laptop for ate Sophie. Don't we just love gadgets! Haha. I was drooling over DSLR lenses and the laptop I've been eyeing for the longest time... I'll get that sometime, somehow, I should! Hmpf. Went back to the hotel, freshened up a bit and met Nicki's friend Kris, who drove us to Ikea. Why Ikea? I don't know, but it was fun. Can't wait to decorate a room or something :) Then drove downtown and had Monica's first photos at the Starbucks store and Space Needle; had dinner at a pizza place and then back.

Day 4: Thirty minutes before showup, I was starving; I asked Monica if she wanted to have breakfast at Denny's across the street but we ended up having coffee and croissants at the cafe at the lobby.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

My Sassy Girl remake

I saw the trailer of the Hollywood remake on Jai's Multiply blog. My Sassy Girl is one of my favorite movies of all time, as some of you know. As for the casting, basing on the trailer, I think it's awful. Elisha Cuthbert has a strong personality already, and the lead role needs someone whose face is so angelic but turns into someone really mean looking. The guy part, I forgot his name, needs someone who looks/seems a little more stupid like someone you could push around.

Anyway, we still have to see the movie to see if the actors can really remake the Korean movie despite the casting.

+ + +

Got back last night from my SF layover with Mica, Cielo and MM. It was so much fun! We had Golden Gate bridge photos for Cielo and Mica, went shopping and spent a lot on H&M, Bath and Body Works, Victoria's Secret and CostCo! Gawd I spent a half month's pay in three days! I so love H&M, and he does too; I think it was his first time to H&M and he likes it.

Oh and for the first time he did remember the monthsary! *LOL*

Monday, March 24, 2008

When flying isn't work

I wonder why I'm such a crybaby, a simple hurt would make me well up instantly; so maybe not bawling but a tear would always drop. It's something I rarely could stop. My friends can always tell me if I'm about to cry: my nose turns red, I blink endlessly, the corners of my mouth go down and I'm taking deep breaths. No matter how I try, I've never succeeded NOT crying. But ask me to cry for a school play? I can't even produce a single tear!

I was chatting with Eisel yesterday and I was crying! WTH!

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I miss my Al so much! We haven't seen each other for five weeks, but that's about to end, I'm flying SF tomorrow, with Mica and Cielo and eventually MM will join us. I love flying alright, but for a person as domesticated as I am, the only way to enjoy it is to be with people I'm at home with: my family, loved ONE and friends :) Being with them makes me feel like flying isn't work at all!

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When I was in Manila, everyone was telling me I lost weight but honestly I think I gained weight. I try clothes on and they fit but when I look at the mirror, I think I look horrible. I don't want to lose weight, I just want to look alright. Maybe I gotta shop for clothes, nuninuninu...

Friday, March 21, 2008

Online Entertainment

"Loneliness feeds whining; friendship divides sorrow."

This was the last line from today's dose of inspirational shorts/essay from a book I received last Christmas, Devotions for Women on the Go. So true.

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I'm so enjoying online, especially videos uploaded by people on YouTube. It's where I first watched the Binibining Pilipinas winner's Q&A portion, Britain's Got Talent's Connie Talbot from last year, the infamous I Am Your Brother guy on American Idol auditions and lately, Ken Lee song on Bulgarian Idol, it's a must-see if you haven't!

These sure helps me get through boredom when I'm away from home! :)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

10 Things That Made Me Happy Recently

Tagged by Victor, here are ten.

1. I got my first credit card. And the credit limit isn't so bad. :)
2. Ate a lot of seafood during Tatay's birthday.
3. Went on an impromptu hangout night on a late MONDAY evening so we got a bar to ourselves and danced like crazy.
4. I got a San Francisco flight on April...out of nowhere.
5. People are starting to realize and recognize who's who and who's doing what.
6. Yana saying, "a-yey" while trying to mimic my "Haller!"
7. Being able to keep my promise to Al to be good, despite lotsa guys around.
8. I like my new hairstyle.
9. A mobile phone charm I had made.
10. He makes me happy every single day. Just by being there and being who he is.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Proof of Billing

REALLY Lazy. That's how I've been. When I'm online I'm just mostly checking my mail, eBay and then bank stuff. I feel so old. I spend hours banking online and going through bills; and now most of my Makati days are spent going to--still--banks and paying bills! I feel so old.

I had the broadband account transferred to my name since I pay for it. And the CS officer asked me for a proof of billing, I said, "I don't have any. That's exactly why I want this under my name, so I can have a proof of billing." Which is true: Everywhere, everybody NEEDs to have a billing statement to start something. I opened a savings account at BPI and they asked me for the same thing. Good thing my dad was with me and he's a good client of that branch so the account officer accepted my dad's proof of billing. If, as they say, it's just the address that they need, why can't they ask for a driver's license or a voter's ID or a postal ID?

Oh yea, I got my HSBC Red card. So fun that there's a free Kenneth Cole wallet for new-to-bank accounts/subscribers.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Lazy Leap Year

Look who's been a lazy blogger! :) Haha! So while I've been missing here's what had happened with me:
  • My eBay account got suspended for reasons I don't even know; filed an appeal for account reinstatement and faxed some documents for that; got it back yesterday so it's up and running again.

  • Because my eBay was down for almost a week, I listed my items over at Sulit and got a buyer for one of my products. So maybe I'll maintain two accounts now. She said she found my site when she Googled up where to buy it in the Philippines--tags work! :)

  • Got to stay at a condo during my three days in Manila, and now I'm looking into investing in one--told Al about it too.

  • Al forgot our seventh monthsary. He never did remember any of the seven.

  • Was at home for my best friend's birthday celebration, coolness!

  • Updated my bank account, opened another and got a call from a credit card company that I applied for...nuninuninu...

  • Been referred to as the "girl I was most serious about," and "the one that got away." Don't ask me who it was I'm not gonna say.

  • Had my first real cry for 2008. And it isn't because somebody did me wrong or anything. Complicated.

  • After a year and a half of flying, me and three Asiana batchmate-friends finally had a common day off here in Seoul!

  • Felt he loved me more than I do.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Nursing the Nurse

Went to SF and my boyfriend's sick. He's been sick for a few days already, fever and stuff. Gotta take care of the nurse. Anyway we went to church and had dinner afterwards. The next day was Presidents Day so it was a holiday, we went out with his bandmates and we went to Guitar Center where the guys took an hour or so fiddling. Al and I cooked dinner (shrimps, bangus, veggies and soup) and I was stuffed! Nothing beats home-cooked meals. We ain't gonna see each other for FIVE weeks so ultimate QT together is all we did. *sigh* Gonna miss him real bad!

Also, I've been thinking of getting a Vonage phone for my home in Navotas, since I fly US flights most of the time. People at home would be able to contact me easier since I have a T-Mobile phone. Hmm.

  • People at home can call wherever I am in the States, on my cel or hotel
  • They can call relatives and friends in the US and Canada like local calls
  • Friends and relatives in US and Canada can call Navotas too
  • I get to talk with Al when I'm home without paying per minute (on phonecards and stuff)
  • Lesser Globe prepaid credits to use when I'm in Manila (I usually load up around a thousand pesos per month)

  • Around $30 per month (which when I think about it, isn't that much considering I load up P1000 per month and buy phonecards whenever I'm home)

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Plugging new items on my eBay site:

Most likely for the ladies:
  • Almay Eye Makeup Remover Pad
  • Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion
  • Centrum Multivitamins
  • Dove Deep Moisture Body Wash
  • Olay Regenerist Daily Regenerating Serum
  • RoC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Serum

And for the guys:
  • Superman #100 The Death of Clark Kent
  • Superman The Kansas Sighting #2
  • Adventures of Superman #425 (not in photo)
  • Superman #75 The Death of Superman (not in photo)
  • Hell Spawn #2,3,4,6,7,9 (other issues not in photo)