Saturday, November 10, 2012

Back to Square One

I was happy. Then I wasn't. This week is just plainly unbelievable. I feel so judged and unaccepted. I do not have issues on acceptance by people who don't matter to me, but for people I love most, it does.

I was watching The Tourist a week or so back, and a line that Angelina Jolie delivers goes something like, "People have two sides. The good side and the bad side. When we love, we need to embrace both." Wording might be wrong, but you get the point.

I'm tired of making people understand who I am. How I am. How I can be. I just want someone who appreciates me for what I am, accepts that I may not be perfect, but is willing to also understand--to some extent--the way I see things. That everyone has his/her own way of seeing things, formulated from experience, and that it can vary from mine. After all, no two experiences are alike. That the actions we do, reactions that come out of our mouths, thoughts we think and theories we believe in can vary.

I'm so broken. I'm back to square one. Not again.

Monday, November 05, 2012

Slowly Believing

A lot of times we look back on things that hurt us, and we ask so many questions. Like, "Why did it happen?" "What could I have done," "Why  me," "Where did I go wrong?" Most of the time, we don't have the answers. And this is when we leave it up to fate. 

My 'fate' tattoo design.
I was NOT a believer of fate, so bad that I wanted it tattooed on my wrist: to remind me everyday that there are some things that are beyond our control. That there are some things that were bound to happen--to form us, shape us, and make us stronger and better. That nothing is by chance, and everything happens for a reason.

I can't believe how I'm saying all these right now, when a few months back I hear nothing but these fate talks from everyone. I didn't believe in fate because I used to believe in working hard for what you want, and not accept that it's "just not meant to be."

But now, more than ever, I believe--in a way--in fate. Even better, I have faith.