Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Be good (no, not the movie)

I feel sad that yet another disaster struck a country--the Java earthquake. I can't help but worry if my Indonesian friends are okay or whether they're living somewhere near the area. I hope they're in Jakarta or maybe in another country right now.


Contrary to popular belief (whuuttt?!) I haven't been a good girl all my life. (In case you don't know--which of course you don't--I'm a good girl now.) In every one of us, there's a devil inside. And I know I haven't been turning to my angels years back.

Maybe due to some insecurities or non-contentment in some aspects of my life, I was in denial. There are some things that I just can't accept or don't want to accept. Things that maybe I just didn't understand at that time. I turned to people whom I called friends during those times and joined them during their hapi-hapi nights, to the point that you'd tell your parents that there's a group project so you'd stay out late at a classmate's house. Oh, highschool.

As I progressed through highschool, the badness in me was gradually tapered, though not completely gone. Then came college, and it was a whole new ballgame. There were times I'm all bad all over again, then the mood changes so I'm a good girl.

Almost over a year ago things took a big turn. I realized how much I hurt people, especially people I love. Or maybe it was for the fact that I almost died that time? Anyway, whatever it was, I started consciously trying to do good and avoid evil (parang sermon yun a?). Finally I was receiving communion every Sunday since...

The bottom line is, it's great and it feels so good to actually be good. I'm so glad I had the chance to know my real friends, who were a big factor of the change, and the realization that I actually have the best parents (and siblings, of course) on earth.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Best interview ever

Mom and dad flew to Cebu today, using the tickets I bought them before. I went with to the airport area coz I also had an interview today, which by far is the best yet. No, I didn't get the job. (This is a long one, by the way.)

Tuesday after office hours someone calls up the residence looking for me. Says she's Jen from Continental Airlines. I'm like, I didn't pass a resume to Continental Airlines a? So anyway she says she got my info from the school and I'm scheduled for an exam, Wednesday morning. Of course I went to it. To my disappointment, it wasn't Continental Airlines, rather it was Citadel Holdings, owner of a cargo company under which Continental's cargo goes through. Misleading! Anyway, on with the exam: IQ test, Abstract reasoning, Math, English and Planning. What the...? Planning?! Yes, there is such an exam. I thought I won't be called up for an interview because I didn't do well with the Planning thing.

Just as I was going to bed that night (I had terrible migraine so I wanted to be in bed early evening) the Jen person sends a text message informing me about my interview scheduled immediately next day. I said I'd go. But I didn't. First is because I really felt sick. Second, I was disappointed that it was cargo department (by the address that she mentioned through text). Third is because they won't say what positions are available.

"We'll be evaluating your exam and interview results to know what position is best for you."

Duh. And I thought, how unpro of them to be scheduling you immediately the next day and texting you when they're not sure you're even awake at that time. Sent a message Thursday morning saying I can't come coz I'm sick. The reply: "Okay how about tomorrow morning?"

Desperation? Anyhow, I confirmed it, half-heartedly. And today I showed up for the interview in denims. Haha, for the lack of interest. They made me do hands-on Excel and PowerPoint exam which was definitely of no challenge at all. A highschool student could do that. Then came an interview with the Finance Manager. I tell myself, Finance Manager to interview a Tourism graduate. Very bright idea. *eyes roll* After sometime came the real interview. The General Manager.

It started out as a usual interview, the difference is that he's obviously observing me. Really. He asked about family, work experience, blah blah blah, and ambition. So of course I said I really want to be a flight attendant, though maybe not as a permanent career but at least I want to have an experience as one. I told him about my pending applications for an airline. Then came the hardest part. He asked me whether I'd still choose that path over a sure job in their company.

He's a no-BS guy so I gave him a no-BS answer--the truth. Flight Attendant. I further explained that I am not rushing into a work contract at the moment because the [airline's] interviews would take place in June (first would be June 8). I gave him a few more reasons:
1. I wouldn't want to accept a job right now and then within a month or so quit the job because of another offer.
2. I don't want to be put in that situation wherein I'd have to decide if I should quit or not, because of hiya.
3. I don't want them to put their trust on me and later spoil their plans.
4. I'd forever regret it if I can't go to the interview. I'd risk being jobless in the end rather than not give it a shot towards my dreams.
5. I don't want to waste all their resources and for them to reject all other applicants and then later recollect them for another hiring process.
6. Lastly, I can't enter a job half-heartedly. It's a service-oriented industry. Can never give a so-so service. I'd want to be in a job I'm dedicated and very much committed to.

He fell silent, maybe he'd never encountered anyone that kind of honest in an interview before. He said, "I understand." And then he gave me another 'what if.' What if he's giving the position of Executive Assistant? Simply put, if he's the President, I'm the little president. He explained the job more thoroughly and I understood that it's the position next to his, quite literally. Then he asked me again whether I'd still choose FA over EA. Uh-oh.

I'm overwhelmed and at the same time so confused that I think I bowed down for seconds. I was getting emotional that I want to accept the job because I am feeling the huge trust he's giving me (or my skills, maybe) but at the same time, my dream's a dream. My voice was almost cracking when I said, "I think I'd still go for the FA position." Explained further. I don't have a dream that I don't wish to try to achieve. If I'd accept EA for now, I might enjoy it--for, say, five years--and then eventually I'd still want to pursue that dream. Which by then, I might not be eligible to apply for because of age requirement.

He fell silent again. I actually thought he was just thinking of a way to end the interview coz he can't say, Okay, we'll call you, as finale. Then he goes, "Here's what you're gonna do. You go to that interview and do your best and if after June you didn't get that job, let me know. Give me a ring. The EA position might still be available for you by then, but if not we'll give you something suitable for you. I very much appreciate your honesty. I like it that you're honest."

OMG. Talk about my utter amazement, awe and respect! I couldn't say a word so he handed over his calling card and I just stared at it. All I was able to mutter was, "On your direct line?" Yes, he said. To end the 'interview', I said, "With all due respect Sir, I thank you so much." I shook his hand and thanked him again. And left with a really big smile on my face.

So what if I didn't get the job? That experience can never be replaced. So maybe I don't want to work in the cargo department, but I would definitely want to work under a good boss like him. Maybe if I'm unsuccessful by July? Kasi naman bakit ang late na ng interview nung airline.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Coz she had a bad day

[Last night] So frustrated and quite depressed on how things are going lately, I tried to shift my thoughts to something else by watching Denise Richards and Dean Cain on the Hallmark channel. But at midnight after the movie, I went downstairs, headed to the sofa clutching a stuffed toy and did the ultimate stress relief--cry.

It's depressing that I still don't have a good job right now. Good job openings [related to my course] are very scarce. I know for myself that I could land a good job if only there is one. Or if only I was close to physical perfection.

Yesterday, I went to this international chain of hotel and everything went smoothly until my interviewer informed me that the job openings they have are for contractuals. Boogsh! One more thing. On June 2 I'm supposed to be in front of a panel of interviewers, in perfect shape, posture and skin. Half month before the big day, some sort of allergies come up. Boogsh! Perfect timing. Gah, I do need a miracle for my skin. The dermatologist can't do anything about it. Ugh.

Though some people don't really need jobs (or maybe don't just yet realize how important an immediate and fulfilling job is for others), I do need one. And it's not just because I'm still lacking on monetary fund for my brother's thirty-five-thousand-per-sem tuition fee. (Not that it's big, for you La Sallians and Ateneans out there.) Somehow the idleness makes you feel so worthless that you'd even consider going to the PBB Season 2 auditions. For some it's just a career. For me it's a life. It's fulfillment. It's... me.

"Coz you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around..."

Friday, May 12, 2006

Talk is cheap

I found myself crying while tuned to Oprah one day, the episode about NFL star Laveranues Coles on him being a victim of molestation as a child or "rape" as Ms Winfrey puts it. The episode had an air of tension and full of emotions. What a brave person.

* * *

On talk shows, I think Tyra Banks is tryin' to be the next Ms O by doing her own Tyra show. Well, she needs a lot of schooling to do. I've watched the show so many times and in most cases it's all makeovers, anorexia problems or whatever I'm-not-beautiful problems. And trying to keep up with the rich Ms Winfrey, she almost always gives the audience whatever she can. I hope she'd stop saying, "You are beautiful," or "That is so brave of you," to her guests. Although it does make the person feel better, saying it on almost all the episodes makes me feel like it's so fake.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Birthday Jobhunt

I'm 20. No more reasons to act childishly, moreso be jobless. Which is why I went and applied for a job today, my birthday, which I found on the classifieds yesterday. Lucky me. I passed screening and I'm eligible for the next step (panel interview) on the 2nd of June. Yey.

Friday, May 05, 2006

A few more days as a teen

As Niko pointed out on his comment on my previous post, it's my birthday soon. Officially turning 20 (can I make that twen-teen?) on Monday. Gawks, it's a Monday so I'm more likely to celebrate it [with my family] on Sunday. I'm not planning on anything, really, unlike my last birthday. Hmm, let's see what would happen.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

From Earth to hell to Earth

So Niko actually snatched the messy hair photo? Sheesh. Anyway it's been a week of nothing but going online and submitting copies of my CV and receiving calls from the Martians from somewhere for an interview, blah blah blah.

Like today, I went to two interviews. One was for IHRS, somewhere Taft. After an hour I left the place, not completing the whole process. Omg, they're crap. They're supposedly a finishing school with employment assistance but I saw their ad on Jobstreet yata yun so I thought maybe they're sort of head hunters as well. When I got there, I asked immediately if they're looking for people whom they would train (for a fee!) and then they'd refer you to the companies or if they're really just screening people to refer to those companies. (Did you get that right?) The receptionist advised me to direct my question to my interviewer, then the first interviewer said the same thing, and the second interviewer said the same thing. I was a bit certain at that point that it's mandatory to have them train you. Why? Well why on earth would they be avoiding that question from step 1? And my fellow applicants were wondering of the same thing. Gad. Not to mention their unprofessionalism towards interview schedule and the unpro office, and using Chikka to contact the applicants? Give me a break!

I left and boarded the super stuffed LRT and MRT to go to Ortigas and proceed to ProSearch, along Garnet road. From hell I went back to planet Earth. Thank heavens. Their office was professional enough, as were the people. I hope they'd find me a good job. If not, they were smooth talkers. Hehehe.

The little girl (Yana) is so amiable these days. She coos and makes those sounds as if she understands what you're saying, and as if trying to communicate with you. Thing is, if you leave her on the crib, she's most likely to speak out (er, make a sound) telling you, "Hey, come back or I'll start crying!" Haha. Cute.