Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I Was Born a B*tch

I was born a b*tch. We just learned how to act and respond properly as we age. Society, manners and education dictate how, when, what to say/do/feel. But if pushed to the limits, people will go back to human nature: we are possessive, territorial and we kill for what we think is right and ours.

The same goes everyday. The world is still a jungle, after all, a war zone. Each of us is still a warrior inside. We would do all things necessary for self preservation, for survival.

So don't push me. The worst is yet to come, and I can make your life a living hell. 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Out of My Shell

Can I just say that I'm happy I've been hitting "New Post" so often lately? I just missed it.

In relation to my previous post, I will try Just Thai today, in Burgos Circle. I'll see if I can take photos and write a short review. Loser food-blogger-wannabe. LOL.


I've just been chatting with a friend about breaking out of the shell--which is actually my Facebook status today. It made me think of how confined I have been, to what people see me as, what they expect me to be. Regardless of how I say and act 'rebellious' and stubborn to most people (especially my parents), there's always a core value in me that would be the same for a very long time. I cannot say that core values don't change, but it's something very hard to change. Not even sure where I'm getting at. I don't even have a blog post title at this point.


That being said, so how did I 'come out of my shell' lately?

For one, I've been partying. Some people may raise eyebrows, with the OMG-the-breakup-made-her-a-monster expression on their faces. But really, on my part, I think it's good. I cannot tell you how much of a culture shock I experienced not being able to walk through a multitude at The Distillery, nor how I felt like not being able to dance at Izumi. But like I said, it's breaking out. It's going outside your comfort zone and seeing or appreciating other things.

Two, talking with strangers. Yes, I may have practiced this before when I was still a flight attendant, elevator talks here and there; but culture-wise, talking to strangers is not that easy here in the Philippines. It's either you are interpreted as someone who fancies the other, or, you have a really bad intention. Thank God I'm a girl so the latter can't quite apply to me. So I talk, I don't even know how the conversations flow. At one bar, I started talking to the photographer. And just the other day, I mustered up the courage and knocked on my new neighbor's door (who had been there for just a couple of days), introduced myself as the girl living next door. I had to walk up to the door and back out for about three times.

Three, trusting people. Not good, I know. But I'm brushing up my skills on determining how trustworthy people are. Enough said. :)

Soon I will be trying more things. Maybe surfing. Or taking up street dancing. Or travelling alone. Or, as suggested by my beer buddy last night, travelling without bringing anything. Must be fun! If there's anything you feel like I have to try, let me know.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Food All Around the World

Now on the second day of wearing our company uniform, it kinda made me feel like how it was when I was still a flight attendant. With the uniform--and a scarf!--I'm hoping this won't be a monotonous job. Meeting new people lately, at one point or another they just have to ask me why I quit being an FA. My answer has been repeated so many times that I can explain in my sleep. 

But it did make me think. Do I miss it? Yes. What do I miss about it?
  1. Shopping. Apart from having the money to shop with, you also get to be in places where 'imported' goods are made. Giving you the home court advantage when it comes to getting the best deals. 
  2. Seeing new places. This kinda grew out on me, because at the time that I quit, I have seen most of Asiana's destinations. Kinda envy them right now that new routes like Paris and Hawaii were introduced after I left. New places mean new subjects for photography too! And last but definitely not the least...
  3. Food. I'd forego shopping for diamonds, bags, whatever--for food. It is the only indulgence I really know. Visiting places for the real thing is just amazing. Here are the food items I miss, and somehow their counterparts and so-called "authentic" ones here are just far beyond comparison
  • Kimchi from Korea. Used to hate it, but it's a pain not to find good ones here. Only in good Korean restos.
  • Scones and clotted cream. Pair it with tea, and welcome yourself to the British land. My uncle Chris said these would make my hips huge, but I don't care.
  • Phad Thai (and street food) from the streets of Bangkok & Phuket. For some reason there are some things missing from Thai restos here. Or maybe I haven't tried that many.
  • Pho from Pho 2000 / Pho 24, Ho Chi Minh. Absolutely a lot better. The noodles are just so much different. (Okay I can never be a food blogger, because I can't explain.)
  • Seafood Chowders by the wharf. San Francisco. Biased with SF much?
  • Papa John's Pizza in Korea. I don't know why it doesn't taste the same here, nor in the US!
  • New York hotdogs. Central Park and all those onions.
  • Indian food with all the right mix of herbs and spices. New Delhi. 

Writing this is just mouthwatering. I'm hungry!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Communication 101

"If someone misunderstands you, it's your fault for not communicating right."

I have always remembered this line from way back college days. Not so sure if that was my Literature or my Humanities teacher who said so. And I think it's fairly right--unless the listener wasn't at all interested. Now that I'm single, it's time to re-practice these comm skills. Time to find people you like talking with, without much effort. Hah.

Over YM
Person 1:  Nahihirapan akong kausapin ka
Me: Hah...? Bakit?
Person 1: Ewan ko.
Me: Ahm. Baka di tayo same wavelength, wawa ka naman.
(Am I rude? LOL)

After drinks
Person 2: Ang galing mo magsalita no?
Me: *raising an eyebrow* Okay, punchline...
Person 2: No punchline.
Me: Punchline na.
Person 2: Wala lang, magaling nga. Choice of words, delivery, pronunciation.
Me: Ah, talaga. Thanks.
Person 2: Sus. Naniwala ka naman.
Me: In your dreams.

Okay, so I'm not really brushing up on my communication skills. Mostly on my condescending and the-hell-I-care conversation skills. HAHAHA! While most girls try to sweet talk, I don't. I never liked the pretentious talks of people in the getting to know stage. Boo! Hahaha! Will post more soon.

Monday, June 11, 2012


My family picked me up yesterday from Pasig and headed over to Antipolo to hear mass. I have not been very vigilant about hearing mass for weeks now... When we got there I was starting to get impatient with the heat, and how there were so much human traffic. Come communion, as soon as I got back to my pew, I closed my eyes and prayed.

I prayed for forgiveness from God, for even considering committing suicide and for questioning Him about the trials I am going through. I prayed that he may forgive me for all the mistakes and mis-thoughts I've ever had over the past weeks. Prayed that he be fine, that may he find peace and happiness on his own; and that I may do too.  Thanked God for keeping me safe, for family and friends, and for keeping me strong. 

When I opened my eyes, I was already crying in church. Yana came up and gave me her towel. It's just overwhelming and humbling. 

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Caliraya Thoughts

Reaching my lowest point after the breakup, my blog friend Abet invited me to watch the Second POC-PSC National Games (Dragonboat and Canoe-Kayak) in Caliraya, Laguna over the weekend. Not really sure what to expect, I didn't even have any idea where Lake Caliraya is. With nothing to do on a weekend but sulk, I said yes and packed.

I met so many new people, remembered a few; especially Abet's amazing Aqua Fortis team--a good variety of people. My resident gal pal for a couple of days, Mina, Allan (Mina's best friend and teammate), and a couple of sweet lasses, Gail and Ruth, were my constant companions. I also got to see this sport that Abet has been so passionate about, and now that he is team captain, it's a very different experience. It's so heartwarming to see people happy, excited and just enjoying what is there.

Watching them go about what they do, it's not just a sport, not just a competition. It's like family, working hard for a common goal. They cook, drink, laugh, joke around, argue, remind each other of what needs to be done, look out for each other, and cheer each one on. And this goes not only within the team, friends from other teams do the same. By the end of the event I felt like I was part of the team already; I was cheering at the top of my lungs, until the team went in to finish third. 

Aqua Fortis Team

The weather was unpredictable and for the first time since I was a little girl, I walked in the rain. It felt so good to be disconnected for a while--no mobile phones, no gadgets to think of. Just yourself. It's a very carefree thing that I almost never have the luxury to enjoy. Thanks to my sunburnt nose mixed with raindrops, no one noticed when I was in tears. It's overwhelming to be able to re-appreciate the simple things in life--and life in general.

It was also a time to rediscover my love for photography, traveling, and meeting all kinds of people. A shy person inside, I like people-watching/observing--how even the simplest scenery or the most common people can turn into beautiful photographs. 

Before we headed home, I sat by the lake where there was nobody else. I can only hear the ripples of Lake Caliraya and the light waves crashing by the shore mixed with the sound of the crickets. I thanked God for giving me a new perspective in life, for having good friends and meeting new ones, for all the happy times, and even the hardships that made me who I am. I'm grateful for getting through my lowest point which made me appreciate all my other blessings, especially my family and friends. I let my heart out, and just let go. Unlike most, my faith is shaky. But during that time, I just completely let everything go and let Him have his way.

Lake Caliraya, view from Lagos del Sol

In a heartbeat, my life was changing...as the waves crash.