Sunday, October 23, 2005

Expensive Solidarity
Currently feeling: Tired
Listening to: With You by Jessica Simpson

Yes I mean it. And this does not necessarily relate to my single stat. All I meant was, when you're alone--at least in my case--you tend to spend more than what you usually spend. No, I didn't mean that I get paid for by whoever I'm with everytime. It's just that unlike when I'm with somebody else, endless window shopping or long hours at Starbucks or plain tambay fueled with lots of stories and laughters would sure make time fly by. When alone, I can't window shop for hours coz I get tired easily (I walk briskly) and more often than not, I end up buying stuff. I can spend a couple of hours max at a coffee shop alone but that would make me frequent the counter to have my fave ham&cheese croissant in addition to my frap or cup of coffee; half an hour later, it's the Belgian waffle I'm targeting, and so on. And tambay won't make much sense to me, unless there's a fantastic view (or lots of stars).

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the loner part of me. I used to enjoy goin' out by myself (but for a specific purpose, not just to kill time). I remember there's this one night I was driving alone and if not for an SMS message, I wouldn't realize that I heading towards Cavite/Tagaytay! I was around ParaƱaque already when I got to my senses... Oh, count that out coz I was so depressed that time, I really didn't know what I was doing that night.

Oh dear. Looks like my thoughts aren't quite organized and my post's going nowhere!! Haha

Read at Your Own Risk
Currently feeling: Devilish
Listening to: Come Clean by Hilary Duff

One foggy afternoon I was at Mines View Park here in Baguio, enjoying the view of course. Di ko namalayan may tumabi na pala saken, umupo sa tabi ko. Edi dedma. Tas pasimple, tingen kung cute (ay lalake nga pala un), well betcha by freakin golly wow, good enough, cute nga. Tas edi wala lang, tingen lang sa view. Abah, kinausap ako. Unfortunately, Ilokano ang dialect. So I gave a puzzled look para naman mafeel nia na di ko naintindihan diba. (muka na siguro akong

So anyway, as most Baguio people, marunong naman magtagalog. So usap. Chika. Wala lang..
'Gang hingian na ng cel number. Asteg! So mejo matagal na ko sa Baguio, text text lang. hehe kahet magkaiba ng network, okay lang hahhaa...

Aion, tas to make the long story short... May boyfriend na ko.

Tas lage sha pumupunta sa house namen dito sa Baguio, meet pag pumupunta ko ng
city or ng SM Baguio... Kaya aion, sasama sha pababa ng Manila pag umuwi ako to meet my parents and grandparents pati mga kapatid ko.

Tas after ko magcollege dito ako titira, hanap
nalang ako work dito..

Tas papakasal kame... :) Like ako ng parents nia eh.. Hihi *blush*

Too good to be true?


I mean, really, it's too good to be true.

So in short, di totoo.. Hahaha..
Joke joke joke!!

Yes, I'm wasting your time.

Kaya nga read at your own risk ang title diba?? :)


Friday, October 21, 2005

Lean On
Currently feeling: Overwhelmed
Listening to: Photograph by Nickelback

To show or extend our [emotional] support to a problematic friend, we usually ask about the problem then unerstand it fully to be able to give a sound solution, judgment or advice. But the greatest form of support that we [could] give is non-verbal. Yes, the I'm-here-you-know-that feeling that we express sans the words. Coz sometimes the person doesn't actually need/want to talk about it and to be advised about it. Or, at times, there's just no plausible explanation and/or solution. Usually, we do this to the most important people in our life.

Days back, a very important person [of my life] got so depressed. Not wanting to seem prying nor deepen his sadness (yes, he's a he), we did the most we could for the following days. For most people, we seemed like all's fine. Nothing unusual; no tension at all.

As the night turned to day and the day turned to night, time came for us to part. Still, nothing unusual. He brought me home, a quick hug and beso, then it's bye-bye time. On his way home, I sent him an SMS message: ingat,, i hpe u enjoyd inspite of un4tun8 crcumstances. I fought the urge to do the verbal thing... I was almost asleep when he replied: im cryng ryt nw hir at ---- bcos i was so touchd. i was rly dpresd ystrday bcoz of ---, nd i knew hw hard u tried 2 mke d bst out of d stuation. thnk u so mch nd i love u. (Sorry, I had to omit some parts for personal reasons.)

Being the crybaby that I was, I couldn't help myself from crying. I cried because I'm so happy that my unspoken effort had been appreciated. I cried because I know how hard things are for him. And I cried coz I can't be at his side through all these, I'm miles away!

To this unnamed person: I'm here. Always. I know you know that. Loveyah too. :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Balcony Thoughts
Currently feeling: floating
Listening to: the sound of a clear night's sky

(Blogger's note: This post, sort of a diary entry, was written earlier on my steno notepad. October 19, 2am.)

So here I am, dressed in my PJs and purple Eeyore foot gloves, lookin' out from the balcony of a Baguio condo unit which we used every summer for the past one and a half decade. Tonight, however, shall be the last. The timeshare contract has expired and I, together with my elder bro and younger six-month pregnant sister, have this chance to use it for the last night. It's way past my Baguio bedtime but I don't want to sleep; savoring every last minute of it. Like my very much awake kuya, reminded of the sentimental value it has. So, though it's 2am, I'm out here at the balcony gazing at the city lights kilometers away, enjoying the cool breeze and enchanted by the clear sky, twinkling stars and a bright full moon.

I never thought this place would actually have this much value to me. I mean, it's just a place to stay, to sleep, to freshen up for all I know. We may find other units better and cozier than this fifth floor room, but it's just that Baguio vacation won't ever be the same without this. See, I've been in town for more or less two weeks now, but I haven't really felt that I AM here until this afternoon that me and my siblings went here.

Maybe it's the calmness, the peace, and serenity it brings... It's like everytime I gaze at the sky from this balcony, I'm much more closer to inner peace (heaven?) literally and figuratively. Like now, I think about so many things that I have not thought of for a while. Like, there's a connection between me and the stars that makes me so focused and centered on what I'm pondering on: problems, dilemmas, and a whole lot more.

Why can't the moon just get me from this balcony and let me float through the skies and the clouds? Sometimes I wish I could do just that and be ridden from all the worries and pains. Even for just a day. Or maybe even nirvana for an hour would be great. A whole hour of having to worry, think and reflect on nothing. Pure happiness and lightness. Won't that be nice?

When I was younger "ultimate happiness" isn't so hard to achieve. Why can't life be always like that: simple? Maybe if I can't float mid-air right now, I hope I could replay an instance when I felt so happy, light and no worries. The type of feeling when you could actually think that it's okay to die at that exact moment coz you couldn't be happier...

I'm gettin older, eh? Life's getting more and more complicated each day.

Geez, stars really make one sentimental. Ta-ta.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Courtship Filipino Style
Currently feeling: Silly
Listening to: Sa Kanya by MYMP

I've come to believe that I don't actually believe in courtship. Weird as it may seem, I don't--at least for courtship Filipino style. Most Pinoy men (I said most, not all) do it full of crap. It's merely supposed to be a get-to-know-each-other-better stage which evolved into a survival-of-the-fittest thing or, worse, padamihan ng pogi points.

See, once a guy has decided to 'court' a girl, he starts shitting himself by doing stuff that are so unlike him just to be pleasing to the girl's eyes. I have nothing against those guys who suddenly became poetic coz inspiration struck; I loath those who really just does things to make the girl his. The worst part is, the girl falls for the guy na puno naman ng kaplastikan, and then after a few months into the steady stage, his true colors will be revealed. Then, emotional chaos begins.

It sucks. Nobody wants to be loved by mistake and nobody wants to love by mistake either. Why pretend to be perfect? Hmmm...

On a personal note, I think it's why I've somehow (and some time) resorted to pseudo relationships. The setup where you've just figured out that you both like each other and so you enjoy your time together. No commitment. No strings attached. I think that's what courtship should actually be! After which, you decide whether to go steady or not. Unfortunately, the courtship stage had been stereotyped on most Filipino minds like what I had described earlier.

I hope this is enough to stop eyebrows from raising when I say,

"I dont have suitors."


"I don't really believe in courtship eh.."

Reminder: This doesn't necessarily mean that I am in a pseudo relationship at the moment. Okay? Just makin' myself clear.

I am unique (abnormal?) and so are my thoughts. I know lots of guys may discriminate me for my stand; I welcome comments, violent reactions and explanations. Quite some time into this belief, I haven't met a guy who had convinced me to believe otherwise (obviously!). I'd love to be proved wrong on this, actually. :) Silly me. Ah, whatever. You get my point.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Ampanget ko pala sa webcam (o panget lang talaga ako?) First time ko magwebcam while I'm in a computer shop here in Baguio coz namimiss na daw ako ng friends ko so they wanna see me na, even through webcam. Oh, first time ko pala magwebcam alone, before kase pag nakawebcam yung ex ko nakikisingit ako nakiki-"hi" sa mga kachat nia ehehehe.

+ + +

I'm starting to get really bored around here, and I'm running out of moolah. It's sort of a consolation that I found a computer shop near our house (walking distance) so maybe that could lessen my boredom. I'm not really a TV junkie so cabled television doesn't make me any better.

Good thing my bro's comin' over sometime next week. Yey! Missed him already. My dad's sending me money through him din. :) Kami parehas, we're claiming to be an 'only child'; siya yung retard, ako yung abnormal. Tandem! Ayaw patalo ng isa't isa so now my mom calls us the 'only children'. Wala katuwaan lang.

+ + +

Last Song Syndrome:
"...tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na ako ng panahon..."

- a line from Tumatakbo by Mojofly

+ + +

Uh, there's nothing 'bloggable' to say right now (not that my previous posts are) so hafta cut this off.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Geez... The climate's making me sick. When you wake up, darn, it's so hot. Like the sun's piercing through your skin. Then past lunchtime, fog starts blocking your way and then, rain. :( I'm suffering from the ultimate colds of my life. Yesterday, all I did was sleep. (Remember how terrible colds makes one drowsy.) If I can, I'd stop the rain from pouring so I can step out after lunch and walk til eternity.

Ironically, the song I love says, "...rain, rain please don't go away..." (Rain Rain by Nyoy Volante).

Anyway, to compensate loneliness, I shop. Ukay ukay still. Can't believe you can have so much for so little. Mind you, quality means everything to me. I used to shop through ukay-ukays but this time it isn't summer so the prices are much, much lower compared when we go through these stores during summertime. Like today, I went to the city to shop and go online and wait for my sister, I spent like three hundred or so. That's about ten pieces of clothing, I think. Kaso lang, the money we were able to save from shopping is usually spent to have them clean (laundry shop). We don't do the laundry here kase since my lola doesn't have a washing machine, and it takes forever to be dry if you don't have a tumble dryer (or drier?).

I feel like I'm in a dorm or a boarding house; before, I used to wonder how it'd feel like having to think about everything, from food to laundry to having to deal with so little cash on hand. Independent, in short.

+ + +

It's overwhelming to receive [so many] messages and comments from all of you... Sensha na super tagal magreply, nasa bundok eh. Di ko kinakaya to, once a week lang ako maginternet! Sheesh. :(

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Ahh... The perks of being in Baguio. Fashion! Astig. Except for the ukay ukay thingie wherein there's a gazillion choices of affordable clothes ranging from fashionable to I-won't-wear-that-even-if-it-was-the-last-piece-of-clothing-on-Earth type which brings out the creativity in you, putting on layers of clothes is challenging--and cool. The uso fashion in Manila where a blouse is on top of another is totally in and appropriate here--unlike 300 kilometers back where you'd get eyebrows raised if you sport that look.

So what am I wearing now? Denims, knitted sleeveless blouse, heels, and my current fave: black trenchcoat. This porma is never 'out' here.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Baguio, summer capital. Though it's not summer, I'm here na. I rode a bus yesterday 7am and got here around 2pm... I was walking along the street where my lola lives and people are like staring at me because of the following reasons: (1) pormang di taga Baguio; (2) pulling a big stroller along; (3) and it's drizzling and my only protection is my small Tigger pillow. Ha ha ha. Well anyway at least I arrived safely.

Bus ride was okay, wala akong katabi. When the bus left the station, we were like less than 20pax, and though pinapara along the way, I maintained my two-seat seat. :) It wasn't boring at all 'cause I slept through it mostly while my ears are flooded with sounds from my portable mp3 player.

Somewhere Pampanga, a group boarded the bus and somebody actually talked to me. Description: male, cute, fair skinned, red lips... In short, charming and adorable. The sweetest voice on earth. He asked me how I am, what's my name, sang songs, offered cupcakes and smiled always. Kept me alive through zigzag travel; it's amazing that he wasn't dizzy at all nor even have a my-ears-are-popping feeling. Name's Gelo. From Angeles. He's three. *fooled you*

+ + + + +

Today, we woke up early and went to Burnham Park where I jogged for half an hour while my sister's having breakfast afterwhich I dropped her off at her school (she's taking English Proficiency lessons, but will take up Art lessons this morning). I walked somewhere and found my fave tourist attractions in Baguio: ukay-ukay (a.k.a. wagwagan here)! So as of now I've bought a couple of jackets and a skirt and a long sleeved blouse. (Costs P140 in all, if you're wondering.) There's a really cool pair of casual Kenneth Cole shoes but it's P380... I'll have to think about that. I'm a real kuripot!

Surfing the net while waiting for her to finish at 11am, I'll meet her for lunch then she's off to her English lessons by 2am. As for me, I'll take a hike :) to reach SM Baguio [my favorite mall] and do groceries para sa bahay and other miscellaneous items I need.

+ + + +

I wonder what's happening back home. Have they bought us the most appropriate bed? Construction on going inside our room? How are my stuffed toys, are they an inch thicker with dust? Mm, how's my kuya doing? And the PMA written exam passer? Oh well.

To my family back home: Mika's big bellied now, and lotsa zits on the face. Mmm... what other things to say? Pormang taga Baguio na! Har har.

Attention to all texters: wala pong signal yung Sun ko dito sa Baguio so please send messages to my Globe number.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Last September 30, we had a dinner celebration for my lola at Hyatt Casino Manila's Lili Restaurant. It's a Chinese restaurant, and the ambience is nice. We had reservations for their 'Library' function room. They also have 'Drawing Room', 'Wine Cellar Room'. The themes are amazing, and they live up to the expectations.

Well, in such a nice restaurant, I do know that it costs quite a fortune. But I never expected that it could be sooo expensive. Expectedly, we paid a little less than 30T for nineteen persons. Out of nowhere I told my dad that it's quite more than what we usually pay for special occasions. He just smiled and said, "the appetizer soup costs P300, already, what more for the main course?" So I just shrugged. Bragging aside, I'm used to having expensive meals once in a while.

I think I looked unfazed, so my dad made me guess what type of food costs the most on the resto's menu. Giving up easily (coz I wouldn't know whether they serve Angus steaks or whatever), he said, "a bowl of soup." I thought, soup? Soup's not an entree per se. How can a certain bowl of soup (for one person) be the most expensive item on the menu, overtaking beef courses or seafood? Can't be! No way!

Guessing game began. I tried guessing how much this certain soup for a single person could cost. I started with a thousand and ended bidding up to a thousand eight hundred then I gave up.

It's four thousand pesos. Unbelievable.


I finished Angels and Demons in a matter of a little over 24hours! I started reading it at around 2pm Sunday then I finished it 6pm Monday. Not to mention I got busy Monday morning at school. We had to submit forms because we're selected to be ushers sa SEA Games... So there. I've also finished CSS customizing my Friendster profile; I'm more or less contented.


To my dear cousin Lennard, who's at the UST hospital right now, I hope you get well soon. It's really hard to miss final exams, especially in the oldest university. Oldest system. Oldest whatsoever. Tsktsk. I hope it's not dengue or anything worse.


Lastly, I'm moving out (temporarily) by Thursday morning. I'm going to Baguio to be with my sister who's getting quite depressed now. Maybe be back by November. Gosh, I'm gonna miss long hours on the net, editing photos on this pc, my audio CDs, and my friends of course. *sob* Can't believe I'll be missing out on my last sembreak.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

I have a hobby now. Editing photos of friends using Adobe Photoshop. After two days I have edited about ten in all. Wanna see them? Take a peek at my "gallery". He-he. See the original pic then the edited one. It's mostly editing backgrounds and adding text. I don't do faces, I'm afraid that I might accidentally make them less beautiful. *naks*

Ironically, I don't edit my own pic! I just can't. I'm afraid I'd look like a monster afterwards. :)

I've also been trying my best to CSS-customize my Friendster account. The thing is, I'm not familiar with CSS, so some default settings aren't overridden. :( Makes my page look jologs.