Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Be good (no, not the movie)

I feel sad that yet another disaster struck a country--the Java earthquake. I can't help but worry if my Indonesian friends are okay or whether they're living somewhere near the area. I hope they're in Jakarta or maybe in another country right now.


Contrary to popular belief (whuuttt?!) I haven't been a good girl all my life. (In case you don't know--which of course you don't--I'm a good girl now.) In every one of us, there's a devil inside. And I know I haven't been turning to my angels years back.

Maybe due to some insecurities or non-contentment in some aspects of my life, I was in denial. There are some things that I just can't accept or don't want to accept. Things that maybe I just didn't understand at that time. I turned to people whom I called friends during those times and joined them during their hapi-hapi nights, to the point that you'd tell your parents that there's a group project so you'd stay out late at a classmate's house. Oh, highschool.

As I progressed through highschool, the badness in me was gradually tapered, though not completely gone. Then came college, and it was a whole new ballgame. There were times I'm all bad all over again, then the mood changes so I'm a good girl.

Almost over a year ago things took a big turn. I realized how much I hurt people, especially people I love. Or maybe it was for the fact that I almost died that time? Anyway, whatever it was, I started consciously trying to do good and avoid evil (parang sermon yun a?). Finally I was receiving communion every Sunday since...

The bottom line is, it's great and it feels so good to actually be good. I'm so glad I had the chance to know my real friends, who were a big factor of the change, and the realization that I actually have the best parents (and siblings, of course) on earth.

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