Back to Square One

I was happy. Then I wasn't. This week is just plainly unbelievable. I feel so judged and unaccepted. I do not have issues on acceptance by people who don't matter to me, but for people I love most, it does.

I was watching The Tourist a week or so back, and a line that Angelina Jolie delivers goes something like, "People have two sides. The good side and the bad side. When we love, we need to embrace both." Wording might be wrong, but you get the point.

I'm tired of making people understand who I am. How I am. How I can be. I just want someone who appreciates me for what I am, accepts that I may not be perfect, but is willing to also understand--to some extent--the way I see things. That everyone has his/her own way of seeing things, formulated from experience, and that it can vary from mine. After all, no two experiences are alike. That the actions we do, reactions that come out of our mouths, thoughts we think and theories we believe in can vary.

I'm so broken. I'm back to square one. Not again.

Slowly Believing

A lot of times we look back on things that hurt us, and we ask so many questions. Like, "Why did it happen?" "What could I have done," "Why  me," "Where did I go wrong?" Most of the time, we don't have the answers. And this is when we leave it up to fate. 

My 'fate' tattoo design.

I was NOT a believer of fate, so bad that I wanted it tattooed on my wrist: to remind me everyday that there are some things that are beyond our control. That there are some things that were bound to happen--to form us, shape us, and make us stronger and better. That nothing is by chance, and everything happens for a reason.

I can't believe how I'm saying all these right now, when a few months back I hear nothing but these fate talks from everyone. I didn't believe in fate because I used to believe in working hard for what you want, and not accept that it's "just not meant to be."

But now, more than ever, I believe--in a way--in fate. Even better, I have faith.

Just Live

At some point, I just wanna be private. My life, my rules, my happiness. Where nobody tells me what to do, and no effort in living up to people's expectations. No thinking of what others would think of my actions, decisions, choices, and thoughts.

On these days, I just wanna lie on the beach, watch the sun set. Take my own sweet time. Or pull out a blanket lie on the grass and stargaze. Get lost in the horizon. Not worry about tomorrow.

Because life is too short to be worrying about how to live it--or how to make the most out of it. Don't think about how, just live.

Live.

Laugh.

Cry.

Love.

Learn.

Enjoy.

Indulge.

Be crazy. Be spontaneous. Be creative. Be happy. Be everything you wanna be.

No Perfect Solution

You are like a dream,
Like a sweet movie scene--
A miracle from the heavens
Coz everything just made sense.

Our heartbreaks were terrible
And were just damn unbearable.
We may not have had the best
But let's just put our pasts to rest.

The only thing that matters now
Is not the what's, the why's nor how's,
But that we have grown stronger
And we're ready for something better.

I'm blessed that He's given me you
Someone so sweet, loving and true.
There's no perfect solution to happiness,
But with you, I'm willing to take my chances.

I love you more every day,
And it's a feeling I don't wanna go away.

---
For R.

1st Travel Massive Manila

As they say, all good things come to those who wait. I say, good things come to good people. The karma--good ones. I'm so excited that I'll be taking on new responsibilities within our company. Something that could make my mind going, where my ideas might actually matter. The best part is that it's still related to the travel world. That being said, I have my first official event [to represent] next week!

Photo from TravelMassiveManila.com 

I have no idea what to expect, what goes on, or what I'm supposed to do there. But I'm trying my best to learn a lot and be productive. I have one week! Talk about information overload. Here you go. This is open to all travel enthusiasts and junkies. It does, uhm yeah, say free entrance and beer. 

Hope you could join. Wish I knew what to talk about and give you a brief background, but I'm just clueless at this point. So. There. See you there.

Earphones Mode...NR

Today my earphones had given up, worn out, as you can see. Well this is a good sign that Apple earphones last long. Usually, my earphones/headphones gets deemed useless especially when one side doesn't work anymore. 

Going nostalgic, (Over earphones? IKR!) this pair has served me well. I got it two years ago with my iPhone 4, has survived:

- jostling in public transpo commute

- rainy jogging nights

- drinking-by-my-heartbroken-self nights

- getting tangled up at the gym

- sleepless nights

- crazy dancing at home

- endless Dora the Explorer with Yanabee

- a LOT more.

Lately, it's been serving its purpose in the office. I use it when I don't want any loud voice interrupting my train of thought, or just to shun shitty officemates. I'm lost in my own world, so to speak. Speaking of them, they're still at it. One GM asked me how I'm holding up; I shrugged and said, "NR." (No reaction.) 

For yesterday, I am thankful to have prayed for strength to not pick a fight or make a big fuss about stuff that are so high school. Today, I'm thankful for the upbringing my parents gave me. Otherwise, I'd just be as cheap as they are.

Deep breaths. Music. Blogging. Dancing. I can do this. 

Small Minds

It's annoying how sometimes you see people who seem so confident and contented with themselves, but deep inside they're just the most insecure b's you'd ever know. How pathetic could people be to talk about others in a very degrading manner, just to feel good about themselves? Wake up! It doesn't pull you up--at all!

The quality of your life isn't measured by whether or not you ever purchased a pair of Louboutins in your life, or what car you drive. I pity you for feeling so triumphant telling somebody, "At least ako ugali lang pangit, e ikaw mukha mo." That's so backfiring on you. I'd take the good-hearted person anytime.

I cannot wait to be out of earshot. I cannot stand the pessimism, the negativity and all the mean things you say about everyone else. Maybe I don't care what you say about me; I don't need your approval to feel good about myself. But trash-talking other people just pisses me off--those you classify as low-lifes are way better than you are.

Like they say:

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. SMALL MINDS DISCUSS PEOPLE.