Balcony Thoughts
Currently feeling: floating
Listening to: the sound of a clear night's sky

(Blogger's note: This post, sort of a diary entry, was written earlier on my steno notepad. October 19, 2am.)

So here I am, dressed in my PJs and purple Eeyore foot gloves, lookin' out from the balcony of a Baguio condo unit which we used every summer for the past one and a half decade. Tonight, however, shall be the last. The timeshare contract has expired and I, together with my elder bro and younger six-month pregnant sister, have this chance to use it for the last night. It's way past my Baguio bedtime but I don't want to sleep; savoring every last minute of it. Like my very much awake kuya, reminded of the sentimental value it has. So, though it's 2am, I'm out here at the balcony gazing at the city lights kilometers away, enjoying the cool breeze and enchanted by the clear sky, twinkling stars and a bright full moon.

I never thought this place would actually have this much value to me. I mean, it's just a place to stay, to sleep, to freshen up for all I know. We may find other units better and cozier than this fifth floor room, but it's just that Baguio vacation won't ever be the same without this. See, I've been in town for more or less two weeks now, but I haven't really felt that I AM here until this afternoon that me and my siblings went here.

Maybe it's the calmness, the peace, and serenity it brings... It's like everytime I gaze at the sky from this balcony, I'm much more closer to inner peace (heaven?) literally and figuratively. Like now, I think about so many things that I have not thought of for a while. Like, there's a connection between me and the stars that makes me so focused and centered on what I'm pondering on: problems, dilemmas, and a whole lot more.

Why can't the moon just get me from this balcony and let me float through the skies and the clouds? Sometimes I wish I could do just that and be ridden from all the worries and pains. Even for just a day. Or maybe even nirvana for an hour would be great. A whole hour of having to worry, think and reflect on nothing. Pure happiness and lightness. Won't that be nice?

When I was younger "ultimate happiness" isn't so hard to achieve. Why can't life be always like that: simple? Maybe if I can't float mid-air right now, I hope I could replay an instance when I felt so happy, light and no worries. The type of feeling when you could actually think that it's okay to die at that exact moment coz you couldn't be happier...

I'm gettin older, eh? Life's getting more and more complicated each day.

Geez, stars really make one sentimental. Ta-ta.