152 bpm

I am strong. I am. Am I?

Two years, and I still have not gotten over an incident that I deem have forever changed my life. My outlook, my social skills, my self-worth and the way I trust.

I guess time really doesn't heal all wounds for here I am now, two years later, and I still have that fear that makes me tremble everytime it crosses my mind. My heartbeat races up to a hundred and fifty two.

Yes, I am not alone, but what good does it give? There are still those sleepless nights--nights like these--when you can't do anything about it but let your fingers express how you feel.

...And I thought I crushed somebody's life, when in fact it is I who got so crushed that I can't even glue myself together. Everything I do, everything I say, is undeniably still a product of it.

I hate this feeling. And I can't stop hating it.

Feeling: Low
Location: Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam